


after the waves crash

by Himenanoda



Series: Underwater [2]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Barebacking, Changkyun is bad at feelings, Choking, Developing Relationship, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, Polyamory, Rimming, Showki in the bg, Smut, They All Switch, Threesome - M/M/M, anal fingeing, starship actually being a respectful agency???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:27:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21525217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Himenanoda/pseuds/Himenanoda
Summary: Sequel to extend your hand, give me your breath-This wasn’t meant to be happening.They stood there, kissing like it was the first time, that same excitement from what felt like months ago, welling up inside Changkyun. He wrapped an arm around the elder’s waist, pulling him flush against his body, letting the kiss break for a moment. Dim lights from outside danced in Minhyuk eyes, and Changkyun found himself longing that the emotions there were what he hoped for.He was warned. He was told not to let any of this happen. It would put his career at risk. Fans would turn on him. He would cease to be the person they wanted him to be.But at that moment, Changkyun didn’t care.Especially now he was realising he was falling in love with Lee Minhyuk.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Lee Jooheon, Im Changkyun | I.M/Lee Jooheon/Lee Minhyuk, Im Changkyun | I.M/Lee Minhyuk, Lee Jooheon/Lee Minhyuk
Series: Underwater [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1479026
Comments: 93
Kudos: 215





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [imaginari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginari/gifts), [CrazyJ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyJ/gifts).



> PLEASE BEFORE YOU READ ANY FURTHER  
> THIS IS PART TWO OF THE UNDERWATER SERIES, PICKING OFF IMMEDIATELY AFTER WE LEFT OFF IN THE FIRST PART  
> IF YOU DO NOT WANT SPOILERS, PLEASE GO READ PART ONE FIRST AS NONE OF THIS WILL MAKE SENSE
> 
> OK GOOD
> 
> HELLO!
> 
> I’m back with the second part of this series!  
> I started writing this back in September and honestly didn’t think I’d finish it until after Christmas, but here we are. I actually finished it today, so once again, I’ll be posting weekly updates, on Fridays this time!
> 
> Now, as much as I would have liked to keep this fic as canon compliant as possible, I can no longer do that. Especially seeing as this fic was originally going to end up in an eerily similar situation to what’s actually happened to Monsta X. So the ending is actually a lot happier than originally planned.  
> Do not worry. Wonho is still in this fic. I’m not gonna pull a starship and blur him out.
> 
> I hope all of you are well and doing okay through this hard time. I hope that my dirty little story can help cheer you up if you are feeling down.
> 
> Snuggle up and get ready bc this fic actually has plot! And a lot of angst. But it’s ok. It’ll all be ok. Trust me :3
> 
> Perspectives will change throughout the fic, but for the first few chapters, we are reading from our lovely Changkyun’s perspective.
> 
> Enjoy!

Normality wasn’t something Changkyun craved. Sure, his life wasn’t exactly normal, but he had long grown used to it. Any sign of normality meant change. Change wasn’t always bad, of course, but in all honesty, Changkyun wanted nothing less than for life to keep him on his toes. To make him expect the unexpected, a surprise around every corner. 

Normality, however, didn’t equal a routine. Whilst some people found comfort in routine, Changkyun found it boring. Unnecessary. The most routine he would accept was in his work, and even then his body clock was usually all over the place, hopping from country to country during tours. He would barely getting an hour of sleep during promotions and was prone to working until stupid o’clock in the morning when his brain was too awake with ideas to consider relaxing. 

As they boarded a plane for the last time, the tour having finally come to an end, Changkyun wondered how much normality he would find upon returning home. Across from his seat, his two lovers slept, Minhyuk resting his head on Jooheon’s shoulder, hands tightly clasped together. 

That much was normal; them acting like this. They had always been close and Minhyuk never shied away from showing skinship to his fellow members, especially not Jooheon. They were lucky in that sense...no one so much as batted an eyelid at them getting overly comfortable with one another. 

A hand tapped on his arm and Changkyun removed his AirPods, looking at Kihyun, sat next to him. “Are you alright?” the elder asked, his voice quiet and mostly drowned out by the dull whirr of the plane and buzz of people talking to one another. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Changkyun asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Kihyun gave the maknae a knowing look before nodding over at the sleeping pair across from them. “Wouldn’t you rather be over there?”

Of course. Kihyun only knew about himself and Minhyuk...not the third person in the equation. “He doesn’t need me all the time,” Changkyun replied in a low voice.

“But he does need someone all the time,” the elder said. “Are you sure you can handle that? Being needed twenty-four-seven?”

Changkyun was an introvert. He appreciated his alone time, especially seeing as he didn’t get much of it. Time on his own was precious and, honestly, he hadn’t even noticed the lack of it during the tour. He’d been too caught up in getting lost in...whatever this relationship had become. 

There wasn’t a name for it. They weren’t fuck buddies. They weren’t boyfriends. But they were certainly something more than ‘just friends.’ ‘Just friends’ didn’t screw one another. It felt unfair to just call them stress relief. Friends with benefits didn’t feel right...not anymore. Not now Minhyuk that was involved. 

There had been a definite shift, and Changkyun couldn’t name it. 

“I guess we’ll see,” Changkyun mused, watching as Minhyuk snuggled closer to Jooheon, mumbling something in his sleep. 

He wasn’t jealous. He had no reason to be. They were equal. Sharing. But how long would the balance last once one of them tipped the scales? 

He had to stay in control. He liked being in control. 

Until then, though, Changkyun wanted to savour every last drop of this relationship...whatever name it would eventually have. 

-

Some hours later, a hand brushed over Changkyun’s hair, rousing him from his sleep. He blinked, eyes focusing on Minhyuk who was beaming down at him with that stupidly bright smile he always wore. The elder cocked his head to the side, glancing over at the bathroom door before wandering off in that particular direction. He left his hands drift along Changkyun’s shoulder as he left. 

Changkyun paused, glancing around him. The lights were out. Everyone else was fast asleep. The toilet door was left ajar...just for him. 

He unfastened his seatbelt, carefully getting up. He did his best not to disturb the sleeping Kihyun beside him before slipping off to the toilet, where Minhyuk was waiting. The elder was leaning against the tiny counter with barely enough room for him to even try to sit on it; the tap sensor would probably trigger if he tried it anyway. 

Changkyun pressed up against Minhyuk, arms wrapping around his waist as their lips met in a heated kiss. It made the maknae’s head spin, lust twisting in the pit of his stomach. “There’s not enough space for me to fuck you,” he purred against Minhyuk’s mouth. 

There was a hand against his belt, unfastening it and pulling his trousers open. “How quickly do you think I can get you off?” Minhyuk asked, shoving his hand into the other’s underwear and closing his fingers around his hardening cock.

Changkyun let out a quiet gasp, pressing kisses against the corner of his lover’s mouth, tangling his fingers into his hair, keeping him pressed as close as possible. Minhyuk’s grip was tight, strokes fast. “L-lemme...” he grunted, fumbling around with the other’s jeans before getting nudged away.

“You can do me later. We don’t have enough time right now,” he whispered against the maknae’s ear, nipping lightly at his piercings, the metal clinking against his teeth. “You cum faster than me.”

“It’s not always a bad thing,” Changkyun chuckled, rocking his hips against the elder’s hand. “Just shows how into you I am.”

Minhyuk just giggled, letting their lips meet again for another series of kisses. Changkyun’s knees were beginning to go weak and he had to press the other more firmly against the basin for support. The soft shakes of turbulence weren’t helping either.

Changkyun was silent as he came, only letting out a low exhale against the elder’s throat, desperate to leave another mark there, but someone was bound to notice. It could wait until they got home. 

Minhyuk hummed, licking the semen off his fingers before pressing a quick kiss against the maknae’s nose. “Go on. You leave first. I need to wash my hands.”

Changkyun held the other’s gaze for a moment. He stole another few fleeting kisses before backing out of the cubicle and heading back to his seat. Like nothing had happened. 

Minhyuk returned to his seat a couple of minutes later, flashing a quick smirk over at Changkyun before curling back up against Jooheon’s side.

Again, like nothing had happened. 

-

Break came shortly after the tour ended. Same as the year before, it meant the dorm would be far emptier than usual. Minhyuk had already been and come back from a trip away with his family, but Changkyun had yet to return home, waiting for the last week of break to take his family on vacation.

In the meantime, he had been working hard. Break didn’t mean the work had to stop, just that they didn’t have any schedule to stick to. With so much of their time dictated by their record company, the members often found themselves feeling lost when given such precious free time. To Changkyun, it felt like a waste to just spend it at home, lying in bed, watching some stupid YouTube video or Netflix series.

Changkyun slumped back into the seat in his studio, cracking his back before feeling his phone buzz in his pocket. He half expected it to be Minhyuk, asking where he was, but it was Jooheon. 

Joojoo: you good? 

Kyunnn: just finishing up in the studio 

Kyunnn: why what’s wrong

Joojoo: Emo hours

Joojoo: I miss you guys 

Kyunnn: :( 

Kyunnn: wanna talk about it? 

Joojoo: idk it’s weird and hard to explain

Joojoo: could we just go somewhere when I get back? 

Joojoo: us three? 

Kyunnn: sure 

Kyunnn: I think min would like that 

Joojoo: give him some extra loving tonight for me yeah? 

Kyunnn: if he isn’t already in a bad mood w me 

Joojoo: have u been neglecting him? 

Kyunnn: I’m working

Joojoo: don’t neglect him. 

Kyunnn: I’m not

Joojoo: Kyun...you know how lonely he gets.

Joojoo: go home to him soon, ok? 

Changkyun shuffled back into the dorm a few hours later, kicking his shoes off by the door and listening out for any sign of life. Most of the lights were off. Either the place was empty, or Minhyuk had already given up waiting and gone to bed. 

There was light creeping out from the bottom of their shared bedroom door. He carefully opened it, his heart clenching at the sight presented to him; there on Changkyun’s bed, lay Minhyuk, the duvets tugged up to his nose. He was cuddling one of the maknae’s plushies, curled up around it protectively. He had left one of the lamps on, his tablet propped up near the pillows, playing some video. Minhyuk had probably fallen asleep while watching it.

Changkyun shrugged off his hoodie, leaving his bag near the foot of the bed before sitting on the edge of it next to his lover. He reached out, brushing his fingers over the dark locks fanning Minhyuk’s face, taking in the way his eyelashes fluttered and lips moved. He really was so beautiful...stunning. Even barefaced and asleep, he could end any model’s career. 

To be able to get close and intimate with Minhyuk was truly a blessing. A knot twisted in the rapper’s chest, reminding him that he really shouldn’t be taking any of this for granted...this...arrangement...relationship...whatever name it had. 

Minhyuk’s eyes slowly opened and he let out a quiet noise, akin to a whine. “You’re home,” he said, voice full of sleep. 

Changkyun reached over for the tablet, locking it and chucking it over towards Minhyuk’s bed. “Budge up,” he said, shuffling into the bed beside his lover once there was enough space for him. “Were you waiting for me?” 

“Yeah...I figured you’d be back late,” Minhyuk replied. He wrapped an arm around Changkyun’s waist, cupping his cheek gently with his free hand. “I should be mad...but I’m too tired.”

“Sorry,” Changkyun mumbled, his eyes closing as Minhyuk began peppering light kisses over his face. “I’ll spend more time with you tomorrow, okay?”

Minhyuk hummed in thought, their lips pressed together firmly, only breaking apart when he spoke. “Will you take me somewhere?”

“Somewhere?”

“Like a date.”

Changkyun blinked, suddenly glad that Minhyuk was now distracted by leaving open mouthed kisses against his neck. It gave him at least a few more seconds to digest what his lover had just said. 

A date? Dates were what couples did. They were absolutely not a couple. They were just friends who slept together, seeking out warmth and comfort whenever they could. Brothers by day, lovers by night. A date implied a relationship. A relationship implied feelings. And feelings...were definitely not allowed in this arrangement. 

They had never set any ground rules - no dos and don’ts. Aside from the obvious not doing it in front of the other members and leaving as few marks as possible, they hadn’t discussed anything else. 

But...friends went on dates with one another too right? Was it the same if you were still fucking said friend at the same time? 

“We can go somewhere,” Changkyun replied, fingers sliding over Minhyuk’s bare back. He was rolled over, staring up at the other from the depths of the pillows. Minhyuk’s eyes were gentle and filled with adoration. It made the maknae’s blood run cold.

No. This couldn’t be happening. 

“Buy me something nice too?” Minhyuk whispered. He was fumbling with the hem of Changkyun’s shirt, not taking it off just yet. 

“Yeah...my treat.”

Minhyuk beamed, stealing another quick kiss before resting his head on the rapper’s chest. “I mean...we might as well make the most of the time we have alone together...before you run away from me.”

“It’s a vacation. I’m not running away from you.”

“...Can I come with you?”

Changkyun raised an eyebrow, his piercing glinting in the low light. “You won’t be alone in the dorm when I’m gone.”

“I still wanna.”

“...let me ask my parents. They might’ve been banking on just having me, not a whole ensemble.”

Minhyuk pouted, squishing Changkyun’s cheeks between his palms. “But your mom loves me!”

“All our moms love you!”

“Exactly!”

-

“But I don’t get what you want me to tell you,” Kihyun said over the phone. Changkyun was back in his studio after his ‘date’ with Minhyuk. He’d taken the elder out to the park so they could play Pokemon. Minhyuk had even convinced Changkyun to trade him a shiny Wailmer he had caught after so much whining and begging. He immediately set it as his buddy once the maknae had agreed to the trade. Changkyun supposed it had been worth it. He didn’t have a Pikachu with a flower crown yet, and Minhyuk was extremely content with his new friend. They’d sat together for a few hours, just chatting and drinking coffee while catching whatever spawned, and, for a brief moment, Changkyun wondered how terrible it would really be if he ended up properly dating Minhyuk.

“Aren’t you supposed to chew me out? Yell at me for overstepping boundaries and breaking rules?” Changkyun muttered, resting his cheek in his palm. He watched Kihyun on the screen of his phone, sat in a coffee shop, somewhere in America. 

“Okay, first of all. These sorts of rules are made to be broken. Second of all, I have no reason to be mad at you,” Kihyun said. 

“But...if we wind up going on more dates, won’t we end up together?”

“Changkyun-ah...if you don’t think you can handle it, you need to put a stop to it.”

Changkyun groaned, dragging his hands down his face. This was supposed to be simple. With Jooheon it was as easy as flicking a switch, falling into one another’s arms, bodies fitting together like perfect puzzle pieces as soon as no one was looking. But with Minhyuk it was different. Like eyeballing the ingredients in a recipe, the flavours never coming out exactly the same, but it always so fucking delicious. And the taste was getting too addictive. 

“I don’t know,” the maknae groaned. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Do you need me to spell it out for you?” Kihyun asked, taking a sip of his coffee. “You like him.”

“I don’t.”

“Kyun.”

“I really don’t.”

“Changkyun-ah.”

“I can’t. I-“

“It’s okay. You’re allowed to like him.”

Changkyun paused, glancing at his phone as a banner appeared above Kihyun’s forehead; a text from Minhyuk. Asking where he was. Again. 

“Are you sure?” Changkyun asked, swiping up, dismissing the message. He didn’t want to reply just yet. 

Kihyun clicked his tongue, taking another slow sip of his coffee. “Sometimes...feelings happen and you can’t help it. I think some time alone with him might help you explore that.”

“...I can’t help but feel bad,” Changkyun admitted, fiddling with the sleeve of his hoodie awkwardly. 

“Why?”

Changkyun groaned again. “It’s complicated...” His phone began to buzz with an incoming call from Minhyuk. This time he couldn’t ignore it. “I need to go. I’ll call you tomorrow, alright?” 

Kihyun waved at the screen. “Alright. And don’t stress too much. You’re too young to have grey hairs, Changkyun-ah.”

“Yeah. Bye.” Changkyun ended the call with Kihyun, answering the incoming request from Minhyuk. “Hey.”

“You in the studio?” Minhyuk asked. 

“Yeah.”

“Let me in, I’m outside.”

Figures he’d get bored waiting. 

Changkyun got up, going to answer the door, ushering Minhyuk inside. He was carrying a couple of bags of takeout, which he placed on the table. “You haven’t eaten right?” he asked as he started picking out the boxes of food. 

“No, I was gonna order something later,” Changkyun replied, sitting on the couch, waiting for Minhyuk to finish unpacking and opening the food containers. “Thanks, though.”

“You’re very welcome,” Minhyuk beamed, breaking a pair of chopsticks apart once he sat down beside the maknae. He took a small serving of chicken, holding it near the younger’s mouth. “Aaaaah.”

Changkyun rolled his eyes, choosing to humour his hyung, leaning forward and eating the food offered to him. “Mm! That’s good!”

“Right? I saw a tonne of good reviews for it, so I wanted to try it out,” Minhyuk grinned, taking a bite of food for himself before feeding Changkyun again. He cooed. “You’re so cute like this. My little baby.”

“Calling me little isn’t going to win you any favours,” Changkyun deadpanned, chewing on another piece of chicken.

“You’re still my baby. One of my lovely, cute babies.”

Changkyun hummed, his fingers twitching a little at the comment. Yeah...’one of.’ Why did he suddenly have a problem with that? He’d gotten off to watching and listening to Jooheon fuck Minhyuk countless times. He’d fucked both of them and let both of them fuck him too. So why was this now?

‘You like him.’

Really?

‘You’re allowed to like him.’

Was it that simple? He supposed it made sense. They were close anyway, but since the tour they’d obviously become closer. But more than just sex. More than the chemistry sparking between them. He trusted Minhyuk; more than a friend or a brother. More than just lovers who sought out each other’s heat in secret, sharing fleeting kisses behind everyone’s backs. 

He should’ve been warned about this. No, he absolutely was warned about this. But at this point, he really didn’t give a shit. All he wanted was to get lost in Minhyuk again. 

Changkyun reached out, grabbing Minhyuk’s wrist, stilling him as he was about to feed himself another piece of chicken. He leant in, slowly tilting his head to the side and closing his lips around the end of the chopsticks. Minhyuk stared at him, jaw slack as Changkyun licked away the excess sauce. He met the elder’s gaze, raising an eyebrow in challenge. 

“Fuck,” Minhyuk exhaled, quickly going to cross his legs. 

Changkyun just chuckled, helping himself to more food once he let go of the other’s hand. He started counting down from five in his head, not even looking at Minhyuk as he ate. 

Three...two...one.

He blinked, staring up at Minhyuk, who had suddenly pinned him down into the leather couch, eyes fiery and darting all over Changkyun’s features. The maknae lifted himself up on his elbows, dragging his tongue over his lover’s mouth, clearing away the sauce that sat on his lips. He then jerked his head over towards the studio door and the pair of them quickly got off the couch and hurried into the tiny room. They broke apart from the intense kisses to close the blinds and lock the door, making sure they definitely wouldn’t be disturbed. There was no way anyone would hear them in the soundproof recording room.

They were stripped of their clothing in seconds, and Changkyun shoved Minhyuk face first against the wall, keeping him still with a tight grip on the back of his neck. The elder squirmed for a moment until the grip got tighter, emphasised with nails digging into the fragile skin. Minhyuk stilled, for the most part, hips rocking back against the fingers that were already fucking him at a pace that was all too quick, so needy and so god damn good. 

“Don’t hold any of those cute little noises in, Min,” Changkyun growled, nipping at the elder’s shoulder. “I wanna hear you.”

Minhyuk’s skin had become adorned with marks from Jooheon and Changkyun. Red lines, bites, hickies, grooves; underneath his clothes, he really was a mess. But the elder always begged for it, wanting his body to be covered with memories of where both of his lovers had been. 

Changkyun removed his fingers, wasting no time in thrusting inside the elder with a low groan. One hand rested on his hip, the other still tight on the back of Minhyuk’s throat. “You feel so good, Min...so fucking good,” he panted against his ear. “How does it feel for you?”

“M-more...” Minhyuk whimpered, his cheek pressed up against the soundproof material on the wall, eyes half-lidded and hazy. “I want more...just ruin me...”

Changkyun smirked, pounding into his lover relentlessly. He adjusted his grip on Minhyuk’s neck, sliding his fingers around to the front of his throat, squeezing, robbing him of his breath. The elder reached back, snagging his fingers in Changkyun’s hair, pulling and tugging at it as his movements became messy and erratic. Seconds later, he came, spilling himself against the wall with a gasp, barely able to make any other sounds as his voice was robbed of him in the maknae’s firm hold. 

Minhyuk’s legs crumbled underneath him and Changkyun had to quickly reach down to grab and support him. “Woah...easy, Min,” he said, gently lowering the elder down to the floor, still buried inside him. “You okay?”

“Y-Yeah,” he replied, voice croaky and breathless. “Just dizzy.”

“You sure?”

Minhyuk nodded, wriggling his hips back against Changkyun’s cock, earning a light slap on his ass.

“Don’t move. I’ll do it,” the younger warned. He pulled Minhyuk into his lap, moving to rock deep inside him again. The elder’s body shuddered above him, cum still oozing from his cock. He received another, harder slap as he tried moving again. “I said don’t.”

“Not gonna lie...that’s pretty hot,” Minhyuk smirked, looking back at Changkyun over his shoulder. 

Changkyun’s expression mimicked that of his lover, his palm colliding with the plump flesh of Minhyuk’s asscheek. “Tighten up.”

“A-ah!”

“C’mon, tighten up for me. I can’t come like this,” Changkyun snarled, his movements turning rough.

“You don’t usually have such a problem,” Minhyuk giggled, a glint in his eye. 

Changkyun knew what Minhyuk was trying to do, but he wasn’t going to give him what he wanted so easily. He’d have to work for it if he wanted to be fucked into the floor, face shoved against the carpet, getting choked. 

He continued to move against the elder, listening to him whimper and gasp with each thrust. Minhyuk twisted himself around slightly, pulling Changkyun closer, letting their foreheads bump together. “You gonna come in me?”

“Y-Yeah,” the maknae grunted, the heat starting to collect in his abdomen. He was so close. 

“Fill me up,” Minhyuk whispered, his words practically pulling Changkyun the rest of the way there as he spilled himself deep within his lover, eyes fluttering as he let out a choked gasp. He gripped the elder’s body tightly, keeping him still as he rode out his climax before finally sitting back on his palms, head rolled back with a sigh. 

“Fuck,” Changkyun breathed, happily accepting the pair of lips that fitted against his own, tangling his fingers into Minhyuk’s dark hair. “You’re incredible...you know that, right?”

“I try,” Minhyuk giggled.

“No, seriously...you’re incredible...you’re just so...I...”

The words died on his tongue.

Minhyuk gave Changkyun an expectant look, cocking his head to the side. “You?”

“...I...don’t wanna pull out,” Changkyun eventually said, his brain cells actually deciding to cooperate in their fucked out state.

Minhyuk just smiled, his eyes crinkling. “Then don’t. I’ll keep you warm.” He sat back, resting against Changkyun’s chest, pulling one of his arms around his midsection. “This isn’t gonna be fun to clean up though...you might need a new panel,” Minhyuk said, waving at the cum stains left on the wall.

“Ssh...don’t wanna think about that right now,” Changkyun whispered.

“What do you wanna think about?”

“...You...me...us,” the rapper replied, pressing a kiss against a mark on Minhyuk’s neck. 

“I like thinking about that too.”

“Yeah?”

Minhyuk nodded, his eyes slowly closing as he soaked up the warmth enveloping him. “...Let me go with you.”

Changkyun hummed, nuzzling his lover’s neck gently. “Alright. You can tag along.”

Minhyuk smiled from ear to ear. He shifted around, letting the maknae’s dick slip from his ass before he tackled Changkyun to the ground in a massive hug. He kissed him, and the younger could feel the smile against his mouth. “But I’m rooming with you, right?”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, Min.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minhyuk and Changkyun’s romantic(?) getaway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you sooooososososo much for such a positive reaction to the first chapter!!
> 
> This is probably my favourite out of all the chapters in this fic  
> I kinda cried when writing it...
> 
> Anyway ENJOY

“Of course Minhyuk-ah can come! It works out seeing as your brother can’t come along anymore,” Changkyun’s mother said over the phone.

“I’ll just change the names on the plane tickets then,” Changkyun replied, absently clicking away at his emails, searching for the flight details.

“It’s been such a long time. How is Minhyuk?”

“He’s fine. He’s just being needy and clingy.”

That earned a chuckle from his mother. “Sounds perfectly normal. It’ll be nice to spend time with him!”

Changkyun couldn’t help but feel a little bit guilty about this development. Sure, it had been Minhyuk’s idea to tag along for the Im family vacation, but he still hadn’t told Jooheon about it. Surely it wouldn’t be an issue, right? They’d be back before Jooheon returned to the dorms, so there wouldn’t be any potentially wasted opportunities to spend time together...

Still, a part of Changkyun didn’t want to tell Jooheon. The part of him that wanted to wake up before Minhyuk in the morning to see his sleepy expression when he first opened his eyes. The part that got smug when the whale plushie was thrown aside, making more room for the two of them in Minhyuk’s bed. The part that sat maybe a little too close to Minhyuk while they were waiting for their gate number to be called at the airport. The part that tightened his grip on Minhyuk’s hand during the bumpy landing. The part that pulled Minhyuk closer once they arrived in their shared hotel room, sharing heated kisses, quickly crumpling the freshly made bed. The part that cried out Minhyuk’s name, gripping the headboard as he was fucked into the mattress. The part that wondered, maybe...just maybe, that this was more than just sex. 

-

“Kyun! Can you put sunscreen on my back please?” Minhyuk chimed, drawing Changkyun’s attention away from the book in his hand.

He sat up, shuffling to the edge of his sun lounger by the pool to smear the cream over his lover’s back, paying particularly close attention to the tattoo. “Don’t forget to cover the whale too.”

“He’s all done already!” Minhyuk grinned. “Don’t write anything stupid.”

“I wouldn’t,” Changkyun hummed before drawing a little heart on the elder’s shoulder. “Are you gonna swim?”

“Yeah, it’s too hot to just lie here.”

“I’ll put more on when you come back then,” Changkyun said, snapping the lid back onto the bottle and handing it to Minhyuk. 

After the constant travelling during the tour, Changkyun practically begged his family to pick a nice relaxing holiday as opposed to another city break. He just wanted some time to sit back and do nothing, only walking when necessary. His mother had helped pick out a hotel in the Canary Islands and promised there would be no day trips or long walks. The furthest they’d walk was down to the pool and maybe to the bar for a cocktail. 

Speaking of which, his mother returned to her lounger beside Changkyun, holding out a bright yellow cocktail. Changkyun peered at it over his sunglasses, raising an eyebrow. “What’s in this?”

“I’m not sure. It has pineapple in it though,” his mother replied. 

He took a hesitant sip, nodding a little as the fruity flavours erupted in his mouth. If it was alcoholic, he couldn’t tell. “Where’d Dad go?”

“He’s chatting with an old colleague.”

Changkyun rolled his eyes, taking another sip of his drink. “Can’t we go anywhere without him knowing someone?”

“Oh, let him be,” his mother teased, peering at the empty lounger on the other side of her son. “Where’s Minhyuk-ah?”

Changkyun nodded over to the steps of the pool, where Minhyuk was tentatively dipping his toes into the cold water. 

“While he’s gone,” Changkyun’s mother began, moving to sit on the lounger beside him. “What’s going on between you two?”

Changkyun blinked, a chill running down his spine. He quickly took a large gulp from his glass, praying that whatever alcohol was in there would hurry up and hit him. “Nothing.”

“Don’t give me that.” She gave him a knowing look. 

Changkyun looked over at Minhyuk, who had now managed to get knee deep in the water, shivering with his arms wrapped around his frame. He then glanced over his shoulder, checking for anyone who could be eavesdropping on their conversation. A couple of people had already stopped to greet them, but respectfully kept their distance and didn’t take any photos. But there was no telling how long that would last... “We’re just sleeping together,” he said, lowering his voice. 

“Just?”

Changkyun nibbled at his straw. “...it’s really complicated, Mom.” 

“You don’t need to tell me the details,” she reassured, touching his shoulder. 

“...He doesn’t like me...but I think...I might like him.”

“I think it’s more than ‘might,’ Changkyunie,” his mother said gently. “I’ve not seen you two together when you’re not working in such a long time, but you don’t see the way you look at him. And the way he looks back.”

He felt his shoulders slump. She was right. It was so much more than that. “We can’t be together. It won’t work.”

“Do any of the others know?”

Changkyun nodded. “Jooheon knows we’re, um, involved. Kihyun figured there’s something more...”

His mother’s hand moved up to ruffle dark locks. “I just don’t want you to regret not pursuing something that could potentially make you very happy...”

“He already makes me happy,” Changkyun protested.

“Oh, you know what I mean. Anyway, if you need a wingman...wingwoman, I’ve got you.”

“Mom!” Changkyun whined.

“It’s fine, just pretend I’m not here.”

“Please don’t tell Dad.”

“Don’t worry. It’s our little secret.”

-

The hotel complex was only a ten minute walk from the beach, and Minhyuk insisted they go and check it out. Changkyun’s mother then suddenly began yawning, stressing just how exhausted she was after such a long day of lying around by the pool and that Changkyun should still definitely go to the beach with Minhyuk. “Don’t stop on our account! Go have fun!”

And with that, Changkyun’s mother dragged his father away in the direction of the hotel lobby, leaving the two young men at the table. Changkyun started rifling through his wallet for notes to pay for their meal. 

Minhyuk leant forward, elbows resting on the table, cupping his cheeks in both hands. “Kyun.”

“Mhmmm?”

“Did you tell her?”

“Who?”

“Your mom.”

“Tell her what?”

Minhyuk gave Changkyun a knowing grin before kicking him lightly under the table. “Don’t play dumb, Kyun. She forced us to sit together even though she insisted we didn’t all have to have dinner together. Now she’s left us alone.”

Changkyun sighed, pocketing his wallet and getting out of his seat. “She probably just connected the dots herself. It’s not like I bring a guy on every vacation.” 

The two headed towards the beach, keeping fairly quiet as heads turned their way, girls whispering to one another. It was only once they were on the beach, that Minhyuk struck up the conversation again. “Do your parents know?” he asked, sandals hooked under his fingers. “That you’re gay?”

“M’not, but yeah, they know,” Changkyun replied. 

“Sorry, I just assumed...”

Changkyun just shrugged, crouching down to pick up a shell from the sand. He dusted it off with the pads of his fingers before inspecting the swirling patterns on it. “It’s something I’ve never bothered labelling. I’m not definitely not straight, but I don’t think I’m gay either.”

Minhyuk sat down beside the other, picking up another shell and holding it out to him. “You don’t have to label it...but do your parents know?”

“I mean...I’ve never come out, per se, but I brought boys home and they read between the lines,” Changkyun mumbled, stuffing the shells in the pockets of his hoodie. “What about you?”

“Well, I’m gay,” Minhyuk replied. He wriggled his toes into the cool sand, resting his arms on his knees. “My mom knows, but that’s it. My dad’s a bit...y’know...”

Changkyun blinked, watching as Minhyuk’s head sank a little. 

“He has his opinions...and we don’t see eye to eye on them. He really doesn’t believe two men can love each other,” Minhyuk continued, gaze fixed on the waves as they got closer to their feet, though still too far away to dampen the patch of sand they sat on. “And there’s no proving him otherwise...but I guess it’s just a generational thing. I can’t hate him for believing something he was brought up with.”

Changkyun paused for a moment before shifting closer, wrapping an arm around the elder’s waist and resting his head on his shoulder. “If it helps any, you’ve totally got my mom’s blessing.”

Minhyuk giggled, bumping his head against the maknae’s, his free hand finding Changkyun’s. “Your mom is sweet. I’m glad she doesn’t mind I’m stealing you away.”

“She encourages it.”

Minhyuk exhaled through his nose, squeezing Changkyun’s hand tightly. They watched as the sun touched the ocean stretching out in front of them, painting the sky beautiful shades of peach and rose. Within a few minutes it had disappeared out of sight, though stains of warm colours remained in its wake. Changkyun turned to look at Minhyuk, taking in his features. Even without makeup he was so gorgeous. His hair was stuck up at odd angles, dry in texture. The colours of the sky reflected in his eyes, his cheeks bathed in orange. 

Minhyuk blinked, looking back at Changkyun, his lips curling down. “What?”

“Nothing. You’re just...really beautiful.”

Minhyuk giggled, nudging his friend gently. “You’re the beautiful one, Kyunnie,” he cooed, giving his hand a tight squeeze. He then glanced over his shoulder, clicking his tongue at the other people on the beach. “This sucks.”

“What?”

“I really wanted to kiss you.”

Changkyun felt a pang in his chest. He looked over his shoulder, frowning. There were two girls, about a hundred feet away from them, taking photos of them on their phones. “We should go.”

Minhyuk nodded, unwrapping himself from around the maknae and getting to his feet. They both brushed themselves down and took the long way back to the hotel complex. They made sure they lost the two girls before going anywhere near the hotel. The last thing they needed was more people invading their personal space. 

The next bit of personal space they got was in the elevator up to their floor. Minhyuk reached out, closing his fingers around Changkyun’s hand. He looked up, taking in the elder’s fond expression as he rubbed his thumb in circles over the maknae’s knuckles.

_ ‘You don’t see the way you look at him. And the way he looks back.’ _

He really was getting in over his head with all of this, but he couldn’t just ignore that feeling twisting in his chest. Though faint, it had definitely been there since he found Minhyuk asleep in his bed a few nights ago. Maybe even before that...he wasn’t sure. It had crept up on him, completely pulling the rug out from under his feet.

This wasn’t meant to be happening. 

But he still let it, allowing Minhyuk to tug him out of the elevator and down the hall, quickly opening the door to their hotel room. It was bathed in darkness, and for a moment, Changkyun couldn’t see where his lover was. He reached up, searching for Minhyuk, fingers brushing over his cheek as their lips connected. 

They stood there, kissing like it was the first time, that same excitement from what felt like months ago, welling up inside Changkyun. He wrapped an arm around the elder’s waist, pulling him flush against his body, letting the kiss break for a moment. 

Minhyuk’s shaky breathing fluttered over Changkyun’s skin. His eyes were slowly getting used to the dark, finding the shapes and outlines of the elder’s features. Dim lights from outside danced in the other’s eyes, and Changkyun found himself longing that the emotions there were what he hoped for. 

He was warned; told not to let any of this happen. It would put his career at risk. Fans would turn on him. He would cease to be the person they wanted him to be. 

But at that moment, Changkyun didn’t care.

Especially now he was realising he was falling in love with Lee Minhyuk. 

“Min,” Changkyun whispered, their lips millimetres apart. 

“Yeah?” the elder replied, fingers playing with the hair at the nape of the rapper’s neck. 

“I wanna prove your Dad wrong.”

Minhyuk paused for a moment, piecing together what Changkyun had meant before their lips were sealed together in a firm kiss. He accepted the request and their clothes were left strewn carelessly on the floor. They stumbled into the bedroom, grabbing at whatever patch of exposed flesh they could reach. Minhyuk was everywhere, kissing and touching all over Changkyun’s skin like he hadn’t done this dozens of times before. By now, the elder must have known Changkyun’s body like the back of his hand, but it didn’t stop him from searching for any area that might have been neglected before. 

The warmth in the rapper’s chest was spreading down his arms, tingling his fingertips, leaving a pleasant numbness in its wake. 

_ I love you._

Minhyuk’s mouth enveloped Changkyun, fingers delving deep inside, rousing soft cries and begs for more. 

_ Two men can love each other because I love you.  _

Changkyun was pulled up onto Minhyuk’s lap and they continued to kiss as they moved together. The heat was so intense and Minhyuk was brushing against every single spot that made Changkyun’s  head spin.

_ I love you so much. _

He should have predicted this. He should have known that sooner or later the lines would blur and feelings would begin to bloom. The rapper already cared so deeply for Minhyuk, even without the sex. No, it was more than just sex. When had it stopped being just sex? Had it ever been just sex? 

Changkyun’s vision was going hazy. Minhyuk had pinned him into the mattress, thrusting as deep as he could, almost like if he tried hard enough, they would forever be one, connected together in pure bliss. 

“Minhyuk,” Changkyun said, his voice breathless. He reached in between them, pressing his palm against the elder’s chest, feeling where his heart was pounding against his rib cage. Minhyuk smiled, closing his own hand around the younger’s, letting their foreheads bump together. 

Searing heat poured inside him, and for a brief moment, Changkyun thought he might melt, losing himself completely in Minhyuk. 

His lips parted in a cry as he came seconds later, letting Minhyuk cradle him in his arms. He wanted to say it, closing his mouth around the first of those three words. 

Maybe it was his post orgasmic state, his heart running a mile a minute in his chest. Maybe it was the way Minhyuk’s gaze held his own, eyes crinkling with the most adoring smile the maknae had ever seen. Maybe it was how they kissed, all slow and thick with emotion. 

“I...”

Minhyuk hummed.

“I-“

Changkyun was cut off by the elder’s phone ringing somewhere across the room with Jooheon’s custom ringtone. Without a word, Minhyuk pulled out of the rapper and hopped off the bed, searching around for his phone. 

“Hey, baby!” Minhyuk chirped, tugging on his discarded underwear and padding out of the room. “You nearly got me balls deep in Kyun!”

Changkyun watched as the door closed and Minhyuk’s voice receded. 

“No, we just finished. Anyway, what’re you doing?”

The balcony door opened and closed in quick succession, and Changkyun could no longer hear the conversation. 

Of course. He had almost forgotten about the third person in the equation.

He rolled onto his side, feeling Minhyuk’s cum seep out and drip down his thighs. He couldn’t be bothered to make a move to clean it off. Instead, he just lay there, willing the dull ache in his chest to vanish. 

What else could he expect? Minhyuk wasn’t just going to accept his confession, return the sentiment and leave Jooheon by the wayside. 

They had agreed on no feelings. Feelings had no place in their arrangement. Feelings made things complicated. Feelings made things hurt. 

They could never know. 

Changkyun’s eyes stung, a couple of tears dripping onto the sheets beneath him. He was asleep long before Minhyuk returned. 

-

If there was something Changkyun prided himself in, it was ability to pretend. He could easily pretend to be having fun when the cameras were rolling, cooly responding to stupid questions during interviews. He could lie, give a bright smile and insist he was okay with his life being constantly monitored, handing his phone to his managers for the regular checks. He could pretend he wasn’t in love with Minhyuk. 

The night before when they made love would just feel like a blip on the radar. Things would go back to how they were and they could continue just sleeping together, remaining nothing more than friends. No feelings, and certainly no love. 

Changkyun left Minhyuk in bed, not sparing him a second glance, partially to begin a habit of not letting his gaze linger a second too long. Otherwise he’d want to stay, crawl closer and kiss him, to watch him wake up. 

He plopped himself down on the sofa, beginning to tap at his phone. There were messages from Jooheon, sent after his phone call with Minhyuk. 

Honeybb: enjoying your romantic getaway with min~??? ;P

Honeybb: I should be more mad at u for ditching me but min explained so ur off the hook 

Honeybb: well no ur only off the hook if u make it up to me 

Honeybb: what kinda time difference is there are u dead????

Changkyunie: hello

Honeybb: he lives 

Honeybb: I was gonna send out a search party

Changkyunie: clingy 

Honeybb: concerned!!!

Changkyunie: yeah yeah

Changkyunie: I guess min didn’t tell u he basically invited himself along

Honeybb: :0 noooooo????

Changkyunie: still, name ur price 

Honeybb: Lemme think about it 

Changkyunie: ok

Honeybb: UGH I MISS U

Honeybb: I slept in ur bed last night bc hyung was snoring but ugh :( I miss u

Changkyun paused, tugging his calves under himself. He toyed with the idea of teasing Jooheon but he couldn’t help the but pang of guilt sparked by the messages. Probably due to the other person, lying in bed a few feet away. 

He really needed to clear his head.

Changkyunie: I miss u too

He locked his phone, switching it to silent mode before making a move to get dressed. He did his best to not disturb Minhyuk, maybe feeling a little bad for leaving him to wake up alone. But he had to.

His legs carried him towards the beach, all the way to the ocean’s edge. The cool water lapped over his toes, revealing shells and pebbles as it waxed and waned. He crouched down, picking up a particularly flat stone, angling his arm and flicking his wrist. The stone skimmed over the surface of the water, two, three times, before disappearing, sinking beneath the waves. 

Changkyun then straightened up, tugging his shirt over his head, leaving it discarded in the sand. He left his phone, wallet and sandals beside his clothing before stepping into the water. The coolness was a welcome contrast to the heat of the sun beating down from the sky. 

Once far enough, Changkyun dunked his head under the water, all sounds replaced by a muffled rush. It drowned out everything; his thoughts, the repeating mantras in his mind. All faded to swirls as the water filled his ears. Though, with his eyes squeezed shut, all he could see was Minhyuk. Minhyuk smiling, Minhyuk pouting, Minhyuk extending his hand out, lending just a little bit of breath that kept Changkyun’s head from spinning. 

His lungs ached and he quickly returned to the surface, inhaling deeply. The sounds were back. He needed to get rid of them. He submerged himself again, a little deeper this time. His toes brushed over the seabed, dramatically colder than the rest of his body. 

He had never felt like this before; being in love. The weight on his chest felt like he was drowning, and the only way to breathe was to say those three little words, over and over again like a mantra. Minhyuk had engulfed him so effortlessly, dragging Changkyun down as easily as a current and now he was too overwhelmed to even attempt to fight back. 

And the worst part? Minhyuk probably had no idea.

He could either accept this or run away from it. 

Changkyun returned to the shore, sitting down on the sand, picking out his phone and navigating through his contacts. He pressed the device to his ear, dragging a hand through his hair, soaked with seawater. 

Kihyun answered after two rings. “Hello?”

“I love him, hyung,” Changkyun said, his voice shaking. His throat ached.

“Oh, Changkyun-ah.” 

“I love him and I can’t tell him.” His lips were salty. Was it from the sea or his own tears that had begun to drip down his cheeks? “I had to tell someone.”

“...I understand how you feel,” Kihyun said gently. “If you don’t want to tell him, I’ll keep your secret.”

“Thank you.”

Minhyuk could never know and Changkyun would do his best to make sure he didn’t find out.

Even if it broke Changkyun’s heart in the process. 

For now, he’d just have to carry on as if nothing had changed. 

“I’ll keep your secret too, hyung,” Changkyun finally said after finding his voice again.

Kihyun laughed, though it was laced with something bitter. “Thanks, Changkyun-ah.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts and come yell at me on Twitter @minmeowpd


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Time for a chapter full of porn. 
> 
> I hope you’ve had a lovely week and remember to listen to Middle of the Night!!!
> 
> Enjoy!!

“My baby!” Minhyuk cooed, dumping his suitcase in the doorway and practically throwing himself on top of a sleeping Jooheon as he lay on the elder’s bed, curled up against the large whale plushie. 

“Quiet, Min, it’s like 2am,” Changkyun muttered, pulling their bedroom door shut once he had moved Minhyuk’s suitcase aside. 

By now, Jooheon was awake, receiving an onslaught of smooches from the eldest. “Mmnn...did you have a good flight?” the blond asked in between kisses. 

“Yep. We slept most of the way home,” Minhyuk grinned, already snuggling up against Jooheon. 

“Get ready for bed first. You stink,” Jooheon groaned, trying to wriggle away from Minhyuk and his kisses. 

“Don’t be mean! I missed you!”

“I missed you too but you’re all gross. Go wash.”

Minhyuk pouted as he was tugged by the sleeve, Changkyun leading him out of the room. “Think you’ll be able to keep quiet?” 

They locked the bathroom door before stripping each other free from their sweaty travel-wear, leaving them in the laundry basket. “If not, just gag me, I guess,” Minhyuk replied quietly. 

Once they were under the spray of water, Changkyun pulled Minhyuk closer, sealing their lips firmly together. They hadn’t been able to fool around on the plane with Changkyun’s terribly perceptive mother sat only a few feet away. And being near Minhyuk for hours without touching him had done a fantastic job of driving the maknae insane.

Minhyuk’s fingers tangled into his hair, eagerly returning each kiss, sinking his teeth into the younger’s bottom lip. A free hand slipped lower, resting on Changkyun’s ass. “You can wait another couple of minutes,” the younger chided, pulling away to reach for the shampoo, dumping a bunch onto Minhyuk’s head.

“I’m just really horny,” Minhyuk whined, covering his eyes as the maknae began to massage shampoo into his hair. 

“You’re always horny,” Changkyun muttered, instructing the elder to lean down a little more so he could see and make sure he didn’t miss any spots. 

“Well, I did learn it from you,” Minhyuk giggled.

Once they were both clean, they headed back into their shared bedroom. Jooheon had pushed both of the beds together and was in the middle of stripping. Minhyuk quickly crossed the room, gathering Jooheon up in his arms, resuming his kiss-attack. 

“I missed you so much,” the eldest whined, letting Jooheon tug him into his bed.

Changkyun switched the lights off and made sure the curtains were completely closed. He didn’t want anyone spying, even if they were a few storeys up in the building. 

By the time Changkyun joined them in the bed, Minhyuk was already kissing his way down Jooheon’s body. The blond reached out for Changkyun, brushing against his forearm. “Come here,” he whispered. Changkyun moved closer, missing Jooheon’s mouth at first before their lips connected. The maknae almost let out a sigh of relief, finally having a different set of lips against his own that weren’t Minhyuk’s.

Jooheon was always a welcome distraction when things got too messy in his head. As soon as those pillowy lips met his own, all his anxieties drifted away. He let the elder pull him closer, as their kiss grew deeper, tongues moving together, causing shivers of pleasure to run down Changkyun’s spine. Then a soft moan drifted into his mouth and the maknae pulled away. “Ssh,” he whispered, glancing down to see Minhyuk swallowing Jooheon’s cock. “You need to be really quiet.”

“K-kinda hard,” Jooheon replied, shooting a pointed look at the elder as he chuckled around his dick. “Hey!”

“Here...lemme keep you quiet,” Changkyun mumbled, pressing their lips together again, swallowing down any moans that erupted from Jooheon. 

They were going to have to think of some sort of plan sooner or later. Jooheon couldn’t exactly spend every night in Changkyun and Minhyuk’s bedroom. Nor could they enjoy this to the fullest, constantly having to be quiet, listening out for any movement in the dorm. Could they get a lock for the door? 

“Who’s topping?” Minhyuk asked, pushing one of his already lubed fingers inside Jooheon. The blond exhaled, his eyes fluttering. Now that Changkyun’s eyes had gotten used to the darkness, he could see the outlines of the other bodies beside him, illuminated by one of Minhyuk’s little lamps over on his vanity. 

“You can. I’ll keep him quiet,” Changkyun replied, fingers tracing lightly over Jooheon’s throat. “But if you make too much noise, you’re out.”

“I’ll try,” the eldest said, trying to keep the thrusts of his fingers slow and steady. Anything more would definitely get Jooheon moaning. 

Changkyun’s lips covered the blond’s. He was draped over him, one leg slung over his waist. He began to slowly grind himself against Jooheon’s erection, impressed by how little noise the other was making. Perhaps the hand against his neck was a good incentive to keep quiet. 

That changed once Minhyuk was inside Jooheon. Of the two beds, Minhyuk’s was the least creaky, which was a godsend. The eldest pounded into Jooheon with abandon, one hand resting on the blond’s thigh, the other scraping down the back of Changkyun’s leg. The maknae continued to grind against Jooheon, feeling a sharp tug on his hair. He turned around, about to ask what was wrong before Minhyuk’s lips were against his. His chest felt like it was going to explode from the sheer intensity of it. 

Then Jooheon moaned. 

Changkyun immediately pulled away, closing both of his hands around Jooheon’s throat. In the dark, the maknae could just about make out the way Jooheon’s plump lips parted with a gasp. Their breathing was starting to get heavier with the added heat. Maybe they should’ve put on a fan to muffle that....

“Lemme move,” Changkyun murmured. Minhyuk paused, buried so deep inside Jooheon. It made the blond’s head roll back. The youngest shuffledup the bed, sitting down on Jooheon’s chest with his thighs pressed on either side of his head. He nudged his dick against Jooheon’s lips, brushing the other’s bangs away from his face.

Behind him, Minhyuk moved. He lifted Jooheon’s thighs a little higher, edging closer to Changkyun. He closed an arm around the maknae’s torso, fixing his lips against his neck. As Minhyuk began to move, Changkyun easily met the rolls of his hips, letting his cock slip between Jooheon’s lips. 

Then Minhyuk was kissing him again. 

He was getting dizzy. Drunk off the attention. No, no, this was supposed to be for Jooheon, fuck. 

Changkyun glanced down, noticing the way Jooheon was staring up at the two of them. He tilted his head a little, freeing the maknae’s cock from his mouth. “Fuck, you both look incredible,” the blond whispered, voice so breathless and fucked out. 

“Kyun,” Minhyuk purred against Changkyun’s ear, causing him to shiver. The elder’s fingers were drifting south, circling Changkyun’s entrance. One pushed inside, still slick from before. Changkyun gritted his teeth to stifle a groan as Jooheon took his dick into his mouth again, swallowing hard around the sensitive flesh. “You’re so tense...loosen up a little.”

Was he? Was it that noticeable? His eyes fluttered shut as Minhyuk’s fingers brushed over his prostate, the thrusts of his fingers matching the movements of his hips. A groan bubbled from his throat and suddenly, Minhyuk’s free hand was around his neck, squeezing tightly. 

“That’s funny. You told us to keep quiet, but think it’s okay to be noisy yourself?” Minhyuk chuckled, tightening his grip a little.

“Kyun’s the loudest when he wants to be,” Jooheon added, slicking up his fingers with the precum dripping down Changkyun’s cock. Thethe blond reached around, joining his fingers with Minhyuk’s, pushing as deep as they could. “His safeword is hitting, remember?”

Minhyuk nodded, nipping at the shell of the youngest’s ear, noting how warm they had gotten. “So cute.”

Maybe he really was too tense. Changkyun began to relax against Minhyuk’s chest, rocking his own hips against both of his lover’s hands. He parted his lips, though nothing came out. 

God, he’d done far too much overthinking during his vacation...he really just needed to lose his mind, completely stop thinking about everything. The feelings he had didn’t matter right now. He just needed to get swallowed up by this pleasure. 

His mind was going blank. At some point he had wound up on his front, head shoved against the pillows, a hand anchored to the back of his neck. Whose dick was in him? Did he even care? 

He managed one smack against the pillows before passing out. 

-

Changkyun woke up to the distinct sound of clanging pots and pans from the kitchen. He sat up, quickly jumping out of their makeshift double bed. Fortunately, the others were mostly on Minhyuk’s bed, so after a quick nudge, Changkyun was able to drag his bed back into place. Then he searched around for a spare pair of underwear. 

Someone was making their way down the corridor, and Changkyun had just enough time to throw a duvet over Minhyuk and Jooheon, concealing their decency, before the bedroom door opened.

“Oh, you’re back! How was your flight?” Kihyun smiled, far too happy for this time in the morning. 

“It was fine. We didn’t get back until super late though,” Changkyun replied, pulling a hoodie over his head. 

“Alright. Breakfast is in ten minutes if you want it,” Kihyun said, just a little louder for the other two in the room to hear. “...also, open a window. It stinks in here.”

“Yeah, sure.”

And with that Kihyun left.

Shit, that had been close. Too close. 

Jooheon stirred from his spot in the bed. He had been sandwiched between Changkyun and Minhyuk, but now without the maknae in his arms, he was searching for that loss of heat. Changkyun sat on his own bed, reaching forward to lightly stroke the blond’s head. “Wake up,” he called gently. 

Jooheon just grumbled, squeezing his eyes tightly shut before letting them open. He blinked a few times before smiling, his dimples appearing on his cheeks. “Hey...” 

“You alright?” Changkyun asked, smiling a little as the elder pressed into his hand. 

“Mhm...” Then he paused. “You moved the bed.”

“Yeah, Kihyun came in.”

“Oh.”

“I think we need to rethink this arrangement,” Changkyun sighed, peering over Jooheon’s shoulder to see the eldest. He was pressed against the wall, one leg hooked over his whale plushie, back to Jooheon. “Once he wakes up though.”

“Should we like...get a room somewhere or something?” Jooheon suggested, his voice quiet. He sat up, fumbling around for his discarded clothing. 

“I dunno. Won’t that be too suspicious. We only just got back and then we vanish again?”

Jooheon hummed quietly, glancing at Minhyuk. He was dead to the world. “Let’s go eat. No point waking Min up if he needs the sleep.”

“And I don’t?” Changkyun retorted, cocking his head to the side. “You guys really did a number on me.”

“Our bad. Sorry.” Jooheon moved closer to Changkyun once he had finished getting dressed. He dipped his head a little to press a kiss against his cheek. 

Changkyun crinkled his nose before leaning up for a peck on the lips. “You’re forgiven. But I’m changing my safeword.”

“What to?”

“...Mandu.”

Jooheon chuckled, patting Changkyun’s ass before they headed for the kitchen. 

-

After breakfast, they tried (and failed) to get Minhyuk to wake up and come out with them. The eldest just flailed his arm, mumbling something nonsensical.

Jooheon glanced at the maknae for a moment before leaning over Minhyuk’s form, hidden deep under the covers. “Then you’re okay with us going without you?”

“Mhm...I’m too tired to move,” Minhyuk replied, his voice thick with sleep.

“Alright,” Jooheon whispered, dipping his head to press a light kiss against Minhyuk’s head. “Message us if you need anything.”

“Do you wanna sleep in my bed? It might be nicer,” Changkyun suggested. 

Minhyuk looked over his shoulder, squinting a little before flopping back down, his face pressed into the whale plushie in his arms. “I’ll move in a bit.”

Once the rappers had gathered up Jooheon’s cats, they headed to the studio, knowing it would be one of the few places where they’d actually have some privacy. Jooheon had recently installed a lock on his door, which had proven to be a very good idea. 

The pair usually hooked up in one of their studios, knowing they were hidden away from the watchful eyes of their managers. If they had been caught already, they certainly weren’t aware of it. 

Gucci jumped up onto Changkyun’s lap once he sat down on the spare chair in Jooheon’s studio. She began kneading his thighs before settling down for a snooze. “So what’re we gonna do?” the maknae asked, gently scratching behind the cat’s ear. 

Jooheon hummed, sitting back in his chair. “Could always get a sofa bed in here? There’s probably more space in your studio for that, though,” he suggested. “I probably can’t get away with sleeping in your room every night.”

“I wish you could,” Changkyun mumbled.

“...The others are gonna find out sooner or later,” Jooheon said after a pause. 

Changkyun nodded a little. “Kihyun knows about me and Minhyuk...I don’t think he suspects anything else though,” he admitted.

“How’d he take it?”

“...He seems okay with it...as long as it doesn’t affect anything else. Like our work.”

Jooheon sighed, moving to sit on the floor and picking out a stray cat toy that had been lying around. He threw it across the room, watching as Yoshi scampered away after it. Changkyun looked down at his friend, taking in the way the blond had slumped forward, his eyes tired. He usually looked so happy when playing with his cats, yet now...

Eventually Gucci hopped down from Changkyun’s lap to join her sister. Changkyun moved to sit down next to Jooheon, resting his head on his shoulder. He watched as the two cats ran back over to them, jumping at the toy Jooheon had just picked up: a rod with a cluster of feathers on the end of a piece of string. The blond cooed as the cats rolled around, batting at the feathers with their paws. 

Changkyun glanced at Jooheon, noting his smile. The cats were doing a good job at distracting Jooheon from whatever was bothering him.

“...I’m sorry...again,” Changkyun said, finally breaking the silence. 

“Why?” Jooheon asked, not looking away from the cats. 

“Because I ditched...we ditched.”

“You didn’t do it on purpose though, right?”

“How would I do it on purpose?”

Jooheon sighed, letting Gucci snatch the rod out of his hand, dragging it away to chew on. “Was it just a spur of the moment thing? You two having too much fun to even think about anything else?” 

“...kinda.”

“Only kinda?”

Changkyun reached out to stroke Yoshi’s back as she moved closer. “...I admit I was pretty happy about having Minhyuk to myself...but now...I’m not so sure.”

“You’d rather have me to yourself?” Jooheon asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Maybe for now...” Changkyun admitted, fiddling with the hem of his jeans. “Not even the sex stuff...just hanging out with you...”

Jooheon chuckled, playfully pulling the maknae’s hood over his head. “We’re not fucking in front of the babies. C’mon. Let’s play smash.”

-

Back when this whole friends with benefits thing had started with Jooheon, Changkyun had grown scared of that little fluttering in his chest. He’d been so sidetracked by the excitement and thrill of having someone he could be intimate with whenever he wanted, he’d almost forgotten that these sorts of arrangements tend to come with feelings. 

Out in the streets at night, running from bus stop to bus stop, avoiding the pouring rain, they held each other’s hands. Nothing mattered. They just had each other to escape and fall into. 

Changkyun had let go of Jooheon’s hand, pressing his palms against his eyes. The elder was by his side in seconds, asking his friend what was wrong. 

“I don’t want this to end,” Changkyun had confessed, his throat aching from the urge to cry. “But it can’t be like this forever.”

“What do you mean?” Jooheon had asked, trying to shield the other from the rain best he could. 

“One of us is gonna catch feelings sooner or later,” Changkyun had whispered, wiping a mix of raindrops and tears away from his cheeks. “And then it’ll have to stop.”

“...why would it have to stop?”

“Because we can’t be together.”

“Why not?”

Changkyun had looked up at Jooheon, holding his gaze. “...we just can’t.”

Jooheon had paused, swallowing before shrugging off his jacket and draping it over Changkyun’sshoulders. “You don’t wanna be together?”

“I don’t feel anything.” Changkyun could practically feel the other flinch against him. His heart ached in his chest. 

After a few moments, Jooheon had nodded, clapping a hand on the maknae’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. Friends with benefits works just fine.”

“...but will it?”

“Let’s talk about this again when the situation changes, okay?”

-

Over a year later, they still hadn’t spoken about it. 

Back then, that warmth flourishing in his chest as he received a text or a phone call from Jooheon would make Changkyun recoil away. He had been scared - terrified - of their relationship shifting again and being completely destroyed for the sake of a little indulgence. Yet now, he was watching Jooheon tap away on the Switch controller, a smile so bright over his lips, his dimples on full display. Changkyun’s throat was dry. That warmth was back again. 

When was the last time he had just hung out with Jooheon without the promise of sex? Before the tour? Before their previous comeback? They’d been so busy with work and just relieving all of that pent up stress that Changkyun had really lost track of everything. 

He linked arms with Jooheon, moving closer, letting that warmth flourish. His heart must have leapt a little when the elder leaned in to press a kiss against the corner of his mouth.

“I thought we weren’t doing anything in front of the babies,” Changkyun murmured, unable to steal another kiss in quick succession. 

“Mmm...it’s PG13, they can handle it. Besides, they’re not looking at their dads being gross,” Jooheon smirked before pulling back and paying attention to the game again. 

“Their dads?” 

“Well yeah,” the blond shrugged. “They’re my daughters...I’m their dad...you’re their dad too.”

“But I’m not...”

“Hm?”

Changkyun glanced down at the cats who had flopped onto the green rug by their feet, curled up into little stripy balls. “I’m not dad material. That’s more Minhyuk’s thing.”

“...you can both be their dads.”

Changkyun blinked, looking at Jooheon for a moment. He wished he hadn’t. Jooheon’s eyes were just filled with so much sincerity and...

Fuck.

He glanced away. “You sure your cats would want a dad who ditches and runs away from things?”

“I think they know there’s no malicious intent behind it,” Jooheon replied gently. “They know how much you care about me.”

“...do they?”

“I think so.”

Changkyun flicked his controller slightly before holding it out to the elder. “You play. I’ll just watch.”

“You sure?”

“Mhm. The jet lag is catching up with me,” Changkyun yawned before curling up against Jooheon’s side. 

-

That night, they had the dorm to themselves. Hyunwoo had gone to pay his parents a visit, Hoseok was in the studio, Hyungwon wasn’t due to be back from his vacation until morning and Kihyun...well, he had apparently been begged to leave for a few hours by Minhyuk. 

“He won’t be back until after midnight,” Minhyuk beamed, apparently very pleased with himself forchasing Kihyun out. 

“Yeah, you’re doing a great job of deflecting suspicion,” Changkyun muttered, toeing off his shoes by the door. “What did you tell him?”

“That I wanted some alone time with you?” the eldest said, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and pulling him into a kiss.

“And what did you say about me?” Jooheon asked, crouching down to release the cats from their carry cases. 

“He didn’t ask,” Minhyuk replied, following Jooheon as he led the cats into the kitchen for their dinner. “I guess he assumed you were still working.”

“Did you eat?” Changkyun asked from the fridge, moving around some Tupperwares filled with leftovers from lunch.

“Not yet,” Minhyuk replied, taking a plastic container from Changkyun, opening it to sniff at the contents.

“We grabbed something earlier, but you need to eat,” Changkyun said, going to sit at the table, being careful to not distract the cats from their dinner.

Minhyuk nodded, placing the leftovers in the microwave before leaning against the fridge, watching as Jooheon fussed over the cats. “I was thinking we could put a sofa bed in one of your studios.”

“We were literally saying that,” Jooheon piped up, washing his hands and taking a seat beside Changkyun. “Otherwise, I could sleep in one of your beds every couple of nights.”

“So is this just gonna become a routine thing?” Changkyun asked. The two elders turned to look at him, blinking. “Like we just rotate?”

“I mean...there might not be any opportunities to be alone together in the next few weeks,” Jooheon mumbled, sitting back in his chair. “We’re gonna be busy.”

“...I figured this would be the last chance for a while...so...” Minhyuk’s words lingered in the air for a moment. 

With that, Changkyun stood up, heading out of the kitchen. “I’ll go get ready.”

He was quickly joined by Jooheon, who was already tugging his hoodie over his head. 

“Wait for me!” Minhyuk called after the two rappers. 

“Eat your dinner first!” Jooheon yelled back, helping Changkyun push the beds back together. “Can I bottom?”

“Again?”

Jooheon pouted, stepping over to Changkyun once the beds were in place. He rested his arms on the maknae’s shoulders, tilting his head to the side. “Please?”

Changkyun jerked his head away, trying to avoid the look in his lover’s eyes. So pleading. So goddamn cute. 

Then Jooheon was close, whispering in his ear. “I really missed your cock...none of my toys cut it.”

Changkyun groaned, letting their lips meet in a deep kiss, fingers already drifting down to fumble with Jooheon’s shirt. He was nudged over to the bed, the elder sliding down on his lap, thighs straddling Changkyun’s hips as they continued to kiss. Jooheon wasted no time in pushing the maknae onto his back, pinning him into the mattress and starting to grind against him. 

“I thought I told you to wait,” Minhyuk huffed from the other side of the room. He closed the door behind himself before shrugging out of his shirt and approaching the bed. 

“Blame him!” Changkyun said once breaking the kiss. “He came onto me!”

“Does that even matter at this point?” Jooheon asked, helping the youngest wriggle out of his jeans.

Minhyuk sat down on the other end of the bed once he was naked, watching as Jooheon stole another few needy kisses from the maknae. “Can I watch?”

“You just wanna watch?” Jooheon asked. 

“I mean..until I can’t stand it anymore,” the eldest said, getting a little more comfortable. 

Changkyun clicked his tongue in thought before patting the blond’s back. “Off me a sec. I’ve got an idea.” Swiftly, he reached down, opening the bottom drawer of his cabinet and rifled through it. He pulled out a pair of silver handcuffs, jingling them for effect. “Can I put these on you?”

Minhyuk blinked. “Why?”

“To keep your hands to yourself,” Changkyun smirked, moving closer. He instructed Minhyuk to place his hands behind his back, locking them together with the handcuffs. 

“Please tell me you have the key...” Minhyuk said as an afterthought. 

“It’s in the drawer somewhere,” Changkyun replied, unbothered. “What else is there...” He pulled out a small vibrator and a bottle of lube from the depths of the drawer before slamming it shut. 

Jooheon was naked by now, waiting for Changkyun to pat the space on the mattress in front of him. “How do you want me?”

“Hands and knees, please,” Changkyun replied, already slicking up his fingers. “Face Minhyuk.”

Jooheon complied, letting the maknae move him into position.

“Alright...the longer you can hold off getting closer, the better for you,” Changkyun said, slipping his fingers inside Jooheon, earning a gasp from the blond. He gave his asscheek a tight squeeze before slapping the plump flesh. “And Honey...if you’re about to come, tell me.”

“What if I just come though?” Jooheon asked, glancing over his shoulder to look at the youngest.

“Then I’m gonna give you a hard time.”

Minhyuk chuckled, running his tongue over his bottom lip. “This sounds fun...I’ll tell you if he looks close.”

“Thanks, Min,” Changkyun murmured, giving his erections a few slow strokes, licking his lips at the sight of his fingers disappearing inside Jooheon’s ass. 

This was better. At least this way he could have some control over the situation. His lovers had caught him off guard in the early hours of the morning, completely overwhelming him. Changkyun could blame that on lack of sleep and the excitement of being reunited with Jooheon, but he wasn’t going to admit he really loved the way Minhyuk and Jooheon had so effortlessly carried him into pure bliss. Losing himself was dangerous. Losing himself made his brain switch off, his lips loose, dangerous confessions more likely. For now, he needed Minhyuk and his delicate kisses and lingering touches as far away as possible. 

It made his chest throb painfully. All he wanted was to put his mouth all over Minhyuk’s body and make love to him the way they had done in that hotel room in Tenerife. 

But he couldn’t. 

He couldn’t show any vulnerability or any sign that he wanted more than what they already had. 

Not that it would work. He wouldn’t be able to date Minhyuk and keep him to himself. It wasn’t fair on Jooheon. None of this was fair on Jooheon. He had been so supportive and kind to Changkyun, and now here he was, being used as a spacer to separating himself from Minhyuk. 

He pushed inside Jooheon, eyes fluttering shut as tight heat hugged his erection and the body beneath him squirmed with delight. 

Jooheon whimpered, his mouth falling open as he rocked back against Changkyun, grabbing at the bedsheets. 

Changkyun began to build up a steady pace, low moans escaping him. For a moment, it felt like he was only with Jooheon. The lingering presence of Minhyuk fizzled away, lost in the heat that was already starting to engulf the rappers.

Then he spoke and that illusion was broken. “You look so good, Kyun,” Minhyuk groaned, his toes curling into the duvet. 

Changkyun smirked, releasing Jooheon’s hips to grab the vibrator. He twisted it up to the highest setting before reaching around the blond’s quivering body and pressing the toy against his weeping cock.

Jooheon gasped, his hips stuttering at the sudden intense pressure against his dick. Changkyun held the toy there, wrapping his fingers around his lover. “How does that feel?” the maknae asked, returning to his previous pace, thrusting deep inside the blond. 

“I-it’s...a-ah,” Jooheon whined, his lips parted. 

“He’s gonna cum,” Minhyuk said, prompting Changkyun to go still and pull the vibrator just out of reach. 

“M-mmn...no fair,” Jooheon whimpered, wriggling his hips back, trying to get Changkyun to move again. 

“Not yet,” Changkyun chided.

“Are you gonna edge him?” Minhyuk asked, wetting his lips with his tongue. His thighs were pressed together, lower body shifting slightly as he searched for just a little bit of friction to get off to.

“Yes. And stop moving.”

Minhyuk pouted, spreading his legs, showing just how much of a mess he had made, precum smeared over his skin. Oh, how Changkyun wanted to lick it off. The elder must have noticed the hazy look in the maknae’s eyes and the way his tongue peeked past his lips. “...You want a taste?” the eldest asked, cocking his head to the side. 

Yes. Fuck, yes. 

“C’mon. I know you can’t resist me for much longer. Just give up trying,” Minhyuk smirked. 

Changkyun was a fool. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t hold back. He wanted Minhyuk so badly, he was practically salivating at the prospect of burying himself between the eldest‘s legs, swallowing him down. 

In the end, both rappers lay side by side, jerking each other off whilst lapping at Minhyuk‘s cock. 

Minhyuk was right. He couldn’t resist this even if he tried. It was like all willpower had been sapped away, replaced by pure lust. He even let Jooheon come, drinking down the praises and compliments from above; how cute he looked, how good his tongue felt around Minhyuk’s dick, how Minhyuk couldn’t wait to kiss his pretty lips. 

A box and a chair were placed against the bedroom door and Minhyuk found himself in the middle. His bare back was to Changkyun, arms curled around Jooheon. And whilst the maknae began to drift off to sleep, he tried to fight back the way his heart ached painfully in his chest at the sound of the man he loved kissing someone else. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!!
> 
> There’s more progression of stuff next week bc what this fic actually has plot?? 
> 
> Please feel free to follow me on Twitter @MinMeowPD - I’m currently uploading a Joohyuk social media au daily!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> About love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Welcome back!  
> I’m sorry for making so many of you sad last week, but, uh...it’s gonna get sadder.  
> I did tag it, but this is the chapter with a panic attack. It’s in the last part of the chapter.

Featherlight kisses were pressed over Changkyun’s bare torso, rousing him from his sleep. Dark eyes creaked open, focusing on a mess of brown hair against his chest. Minhyuk was on top of him, straddling his hips, trailing his tongue over to Changkyun’s left nipple.

Hearing the maknae gasp, Minhyuk looked up, his gaze soft. He reached up to touch Changkyun’s face, brushing his thumb gently over his full lips. “I’m sorry...I woke up and just needed a taste...”

Changkyun reached out, trying to find Minhyuk in the dark. “Where are you?” he whispered, feeling the other’s lips fit against his own in reply. The kiss was chaste, and neither of them made any attempt to deepen it. 

Minhyuk pulled away, unable to hold in a huge smile as he nuzzled the side of Changkyun’s face. “You’re so cute...my cute little baby.”

“I’m really not,” Changkyun protested, his words almost being cut off by another brief kiss. 

“You don’t see yourself. You’re so adorable.”

Changkyun was probably blushing by now, glad that the elder wouldn’t be able to see in the dark. “You’re the adorable one...”

Minhyuk giggled, bumping their foreheads together. “Kyun...”

“Mm?” 

Their eyes met. Even in the low light, Changkyun could see the fond look in Minhyuk’s gaze. It was just filled with-

“I love you.”

Changkyun blinked, his jaw dropping a little. His breath caught in his throat and he let out an uneasy laugh. “...really?”

“Really...you love me too, right?”

Changkyun nodded, letting his lips get stolen by Minhyuk’s again, just a touch deeper this time. 

“Then...” Minhyuk began, his breath ghosting over Changkyun’s skin. “Maybe we could-“

The bedroom door slammed open and Changkyun woke up. It was morning, the sunlight streaking through the cracks in the curtain by Minhyuk’s bed. His own bed had been moved back into place and Jooheon was gone. 

“Good morning,” Kihyun chimed, picking up the air freshener from the top of the chest of drawers. “Please crack a window open. It’s like you want to get caught.”

“Sorry, hyung,” Changkyun muttered. He sat up, making sure the blankets were still covering himself. He glanced down to his side, where Minhyuk was curled up against his whale, fast asleep.

“Breakfast’s in ten. We’re being picked up in an hour. Wear something comfy,” Kihyun said before shutting the door and leaving. 

Changkyun dragged a hand through his hair, giving it a brief tugbefore looking down at Minhyuk. Of course it had been a dream...his fantasies were really starting to get the better of him. It had felt so real...

The elder shifted slightly, rolling onto his back and opening his eyes. He blinked a couple of times up at Changkyun before releasing his beloved plushie and extending both of his arms in a silent invitation for a hug. And Changkyun couldn’t say no to that serene, sleepy expression on his lover’s face. He fell into Minhyuk’s arms, pressing his nose into his bare collarbone. Kisses were pressed against his head.

“We need to get up,” Changkyun mumbled quietly as he snuggled closer to Minhyuk’s warmth. 

“Don’t wanna...”

“Min...”

“Wanna stay here with you...”

“We can’t.”

Minhyuk sighed. He patted Changkyun’s back, prompting him to move away. The maknae shuffled out of the bed, picking out some comfortable clothes for the day. He only noticed he was being watched halfway through getting dressed. “Like what you see?” he smirked.

“Mhmmmm,” Minhyuk replied, letting out a low whistle as Changkyun bent over slightly to get into his sweatpants. 

“Are you getting up?”

“...not yet.”

“You’ll miss breakfast.”

Minhyuk paused before shifting under the blankets. “I need to sort myself out.”

“...that got you hard?” Changkyun asked, bemused.

“I was already hard,” Minhyuk replied. “Didn’t you feel it?”

Changkyun glanced down at where the elder’s crotch would be, hidden under the folds of the duvet. “Want me to help?”

“It’s okay. Go have your breakfast,” Minhyuk said, pulling the duvet up to his nose. “I’ll be quick.”

“You sure?”

“I’ve got that lovely image of you bending over to help me along, I’m good.”

Changkyun smirked, heading over to the door. “Don’t take too long, otherwise Kihyun will catch you.”

-

As predicted, the schedules did a number on any attempts for the three of them to be alone together. If they did make it back to the dorms before it hit midnight, they were usually too tired to do anything. Changkyun and Minhyuk could easily share each other’s beds without arousing suspicion, but getting Jooheon regularly into their room proved to be a little trickier. 

Kihyun had started passing glances at Changkyun’s two lovers, who were getting a little close during dance practices, now that their new choreography asked for it. 

“Are you okay with him being that close to Jooheon?” Kihyun whispered in the maknae’s ear once they were out of earshot. 

“It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?”

No matter how hard he tried to deny it, Changkyun was starting to get jealous of Minhyuk’s closeness with Jooheon. But why now? They had always been like that, sharing a great deal of skinship even before they began sleeping together. 

But what reason did he have to be jealous? He got to share a bed with Minhyuk every night, snuggled up in his arms. Sure, they weren’t having sex as often they used to, too exhausted from hours of dance practice and promotions. But that didn’t mean they couldn’t be intimate in other ways; they’d share fleeting kisses until they were too sleepy to continue, fingers lightly brushing over bare skin, searching for a spot that hadn’t been touched before...

Even when Jooheon did make it into the bed with them, Changkyun would insist on being in the middle, wedging himself between the two elders. 

Seeing them kiss ignited something within Changkyun that made his insides twist uncomfortably. It used to be so sexy...he used to long for more. Was it just his feelings for Minhyuk that had changed that? 

“It’s fine,” Changkyun repeated, moving away from Kihyun as Minhyuk approached. 

“What’re you two whispering about?” Minhyuk drawled, hooking an arm around Changkyun’s shoulder. 

“A secret~” Kihyun replied, leaving the pair to it. 

Why did Changkyun have the sudden urge to stake his claim on Minhyuk, wanting to drag him off to the bathroom as soon as they were given a ten minute break from dancing; to press the elder up against the bathroom door, leaving heated kisses all over his throat and collarbone?

He felt selfish, wanting Minhyuk to himself. And foolish for ever giving him the idea to sleep with Jooheon in the first place. 

But if given the chance, would he change that? Would he drop Jooheon in favour of being exclusive to Minhyuk? Would Minhyuk still lust over Jooheon? 

When Changkyun returned to the dorm, he stalled outside his bedroom door. The lights were still on and he could hear the faint sound of music, but nothing else. Had Minhyuk already gone to sleep? He opened the door, blinking as Minhyuk and Jooheon sprang apart.

“Oh, it’s only Kyun,” Minhyuk sighed with relief. His hands slipped back under the blankets, hiding the way he was touching Jooheon. 

The blond sighed, leaning back against the elder, pressing kisses against his neck. 

It should have been sexy. It should be urging Changkyun to get closer, but it wasn’t. He just stood there, watching. He was an outsider looking in.

And the one he loved was, again, in the arms of someone else.

“Kyun,” Minhyuk purred, holding out his free hand and waggling his fingers, enticing the maknae to come closer. 

He paused before approaching the bed. Minhyuk’s voice was like magic, and Changkyun couldn’t say no to any of his requests. He was too weak. 

He was back in Minhyuk’s arms, moving the blankets away and settling between the elder’s spread legs. Jooheon’s hands were on him, pushing away his clothing. Minhyuk’s lips were against Changkyun’s, his closeness doing a wonderful job of silencing the loud thoughts in his head. He was laid down on the bed, and Minhyuk’s lips left his own. When Changkyun opened his eyes, the sight of Minhyuk kissing Jooheon above him made his throat clench. 

Without even thinking, Changkyun sat up, nudging Jooheon away from the eldest. The blond blinked a couple of times, confused.

“Sorry, I don’t...” Changkyun began, glancing down a little. He closed his legs, realising he was the only one of them that wasn’t hard...nowhere close. “I don’t think I can do this.”

Minhyuk gave Changkyun’s arm a squeeze, but even that was enough to make the maknae recoil away. Fuck, had he really pushed Jooheon away? Was he that bothered by the two of them being intimate with one another? 

“You don’t have to, Kyun,” Minhyuk said gently, respecting the youngest’s space. “I just...thought it was a good opportunity...”

Changkyun hesitantly moved to get out of the bed, readjusting his clothes. “I’ll..go sleep in the front room.” 

“No, I’ll go back,” Jooheon said quickly, hopping out of the bed. He tried to meet Changkyun’s gaze before getting dressed. “I don’t want to push you out of your own room.”

Inwardly, Changkyun breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t want Jooheon and Minhyuk to continue. Although, he had done a wonderful job of killing the mood. The thought of them continuing without him really left a bad taste in his mouth. 

He looked away when Jooheon briefly kissed Minhyuk. He paused by Changkyun, about to say something, but then quietly left the room. 

Changkyun shuffled over to his bed, shrugging off his clothes, trying to ignore the way Minhyuk’s eyes bored into him

You could have cut the tension with a knife.

“...Did I do something wrong?” Minhyuk finally asked once Changkyun was in his bed. The elder hadn’t moved an inch, even when Changkyun had left to brush his teeth.

“You didn’t,” the maknae replied.

“...we aren’t sleeping together much anymore, though,” Minhyuk stated. 

“And? We’ve been busy.”

“I just thought...I’d done something...”

Changkyun rolled onto his side, his back to Minhyuk. “It’s not like you’re my boyfriend.”

Minhyuk went very quiet. After a few moments, Changkyun heard rustling, and the elder left the room without another word. 

Changkyun tried to fight back the buildup of bile in his throat. He wanted to run after the elder, apologise for being cold, tell him not to go to Jooheon, beg him to come back and they would hold each other in their sleep like always...but he didn’t. He lay there, motionless, unable to get any sleep until the sun began to rise. 

-

For the next three nights, Minhyuk didn’t sleep in his bed. Changkyun guessed he was probably just with Jooheon, but that was until the blond turned up at his bedroom door on the third night, wrapped up in a coat. 

“We’re going out,” Jooheon said firmly. 

“It’s three am,” Changkyun replied. “Past curfew.”

“Then we’ll just go sit downstairs.”

There was no arguing with the other rapper. Reluctantly, Changkyun got dressed, following him out of the dorm. They found a quiet area in the main lobby. The only other person around was the receptionist who was just watching videos on his phone. 

“Tell me what’s wrong,” Jooheon said, pulling his legs onto one of the couches in the lobby. “Because whatever it is, we can talk about it.”

Jooheon had always been someone Changkyun could turn to when he was struggling, be it with work or more personal issues. He never judged, he took everything seriously, and most importantly, he kept everything a secret.

“...I don’t think I can do this anymore,” Changkyun admitted, fumbling with his sleeves, keeping his voice very quiet. He was curled up on the other end of the couch, body language clearly hostile .

“This...as in?”

“Us three.”

Jooheon nodded and Changkyun carried on speaking.

“I feel bad. It was all my idea in the first place...and now I’m getting cold feet...it doesn’t feel good anymore,” the maknae explained. He turned his gaze to look outside, focusing on anything but the man in front of him. 

“...Do you want to stop entirely? Or just carry on with one of us?” Jooheon asked.

“...entirely.” He then looked back at Jooheon, chewing his bottom lip. “I’m sorry.”

Jooheon’s finger twitched. Changkyun took that as the elder wanting to get closer, maybe reassure him. He stayed curled up in his little ball.

“You don’t need to apologise, Kyun,” Jooheon said gently. “If you’re not feeling it anymore, then I can’t force you to carry on. Neither of us can.”

“...it still sucks,” Changkyun muttered, running a hand through his hair. He tugged slightly, then felt Jooheon’s fingers close around his wrist. He pulled the younger’s hand away from his head, lacing their fingers together. 

“Don’t beat yourself up about it...nothing else has to change,” Jooheon said, giving Changkyun’s hand a slight squeeze. “I only want you to be comfortable and happy.”

Changkyun looked at their hands, watching the way Jooheon’s thumb ran over his knuckles. Always so gentle and thoughtful. 

He uncurled himself, shuffling along the couch and into Jooheon’s arms, snuggling up against his chest. “...I still feel bad.”

“Things change, Kyun,” the blond mumbled, pressing his nose into the other’s hair. “And some things just don’t last forever...”

“But I just wish...”

“Hm?”

It was stupid. 

Here he was, cuddled up against Jooheon after rejecting his attempts of intimacy for weeks. For a brief moment, he had even resented Jooheon for having Minhyuk’s attention...but how could Minhyuk not want to be close to Jooheon? Jooheon was just so wonderful, so warm, always there to listen and comfort. Always on the other end of the phone if anything bad happened. 

Changkyun tilted his head, looking up at the elder; really looking at him. Taking in the way his eyes widened for a split second before sliding into slits as he smiled. The way his dimples appeared on his cheeks, the way his lips spread, that little mole under his lips looking so damn kissable. 

Their lips met, for little more than a second before Changkyun pulled back, his heart pounding. 

“I’m really sorry,” he babbled, covering his mouth.

“It’s fine.”

“No, I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have...”

“Kyun...it’s fine.”

Changkyun curled back in his ball on the other end of the couch, their fingers disconnected. They sat in silence, trying to make some sense of what had just happened...had they not been practically in public, Changkyun would have probably made a move to get even closer...fuck, had they been seen? Were there cameras? 

Changkyun shot a look over at the receptionist, who was probably half asleep by now...all the cameras were pointed at the entryway. They were in a blind spot. 

“...You should go back upstairs,” Changkyun mumbled. 

“You sure you’ll be okay?”

“Yeah.”

Jooheon hesitantly got to his feet, his gaze lingering on the maknae for a moment. “...should I tell Min?”

Minhyuk was already mad at him from his comment the other night. Even during practices, they had barely interacted. Part of it was Minhyuk avoiding him, but Changkyun hadn’t exactly been forthcoming with an apology or striking up a conversation...

“I’ll tell him...”

“Alright...but don’t leave it too long, okay?”

“...he probably hates me by now.”

Jooheon sighed, shaking his head. “He doesn’t hate you...he’s just worried.”

“Mmm.”

“Talk to him tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah.”

Jooheon nodded a little before saying goodnight and leaving Changkyun in the lobby on his own. 

-

During dance practice, Changkyun’s gaze fell on Jooheon perhaps a little more than usual. Instead of watching his own movements in the mirror, he kept looking at Jooheon, watching the way his body moved, motions fluid and precise. 

He really was so beautiful. Of course Changkyun knew he was attractive, but somehow, he was seeing his fellow rapper in a completely different light now. 

His foot slipped as his eyes dropped, taking in the gleaming sweat on Jooheon’s neck and collarbone under the bright studio lights. 

When had Jooheon got so beautiful? What was going on?

“Changkyun-ah!” Hyunwoo called, dragging the maknae out of his reverie. “You’re off beat!”

“Sorry, hyung,” he replied, quickly catching himself and turning his attention to his own reflection, where it should have been. Though, he stole another quick glance at Jooheon, meeting his eyes in the mirror.

His heart thudded in his chest.

What...?

As soon as they were excused and given a ten minute break, Changkyun made a beeline for the bathrooms. He splashed cool water over his fade, trying to erase the image of Jooheon’s face from his mind.

What on Earth was going on? 

He’d felt this back on vacation...alone with Minhyuk in the hotel room. That intense pulse in his chest, that sudden urge to hug something...someone...specifically Jooheon. 

“Kyun?”

Changkyun whipped his head up, staring at Jooheon as he entered the bathroom. “H-hey...hi.”

“Are you alright?” the other rapper asked, stepping around the basins, approaching Changkyun. 

No, no, don’t get any closer.

Changkyun quickly backed into the corner against the hand drier, both hands against his chest. It honestly felt like his heart was about to burst out; anything to keep it trapped inside. 

“What’s the matter?” Jooheon asked, keeping his distance. 

“I can’t...I can’t do this.”

“You can’t do what?” Minhyuk’s voice came as he peered around the door. 

Dread ran down Changkyun’s spine like ice.

He was cornered. By not one, but two people he had fallen in love with.

And he couldn’t let them know. If they got any closer they’d find out. It’d all be over. 

“...I can’t...not with you two...anymore,” Changkyun finally whispered, his voice too shaky to be any louder. 

Minhyuk blinked, trying to move closer to the maknae in an attempt to comfort him when Jooheon grabbed his arm, pulling him back. “No, let me go, Joo. Can’t you see he’s hurting?”

Changkyun covered his ears, eyes squeezing shut as he slid down to the floor. He couldn’t breathe. Even gasping, he couldn’t breathe. 

Minhyuk was by his side in an instant, pulling him into a fierce embrace. “Min...please don’t,” Changkyun protested, trying to wriggle away from the eldest and hide away under the sinks. 

Jooheon pulled Minhyuk away from the maknae, babbling about how they needed to get him water and a first aider. 

Everything was spinning. 

Why was this happening? 

How had he managed to fall in love with both of them at the same time? 

Changkyun barely registered the sound of the bathroom door opening, Minhyuk calling out for help and people beginning to rush around. Jooheon was gone. Kihyun’s voice was there amongst the hubbub...his hand was in his own, squeezing, soothing. 

“I fucked up,” Changkyun sobbed.

“It’s okay,” Kihyun replied, his voice so gentle. 

“It hurts so much.” 

“I know.”

“Is it gonna stop?”

“I don’t know.”

“...fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so so much for reading  
> The next chapter is going to be a lot shorter, but after that I will be posting a full chapter on Christmas Day :)  
> Then we’ll return to regular Thursday updates like before, as I’ve found Fridays are just too busy for me. I’m always caught up doing stuff haha  
> So yeah.  
> Chapter 5 - 20th December  
> Chapter 6 - Christmas Day  
> Chapter 7 - 2nd January 
> 
> As always, I’m on twitter for you to yell at me, @minmeowpd


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> This is a very short chapter, marking the halfway point of the story.  
> It’s told from Minhyuk’s perspective, but the next few chapters will change perspective a little bit. 
> 
> Please enjoy!

“Changkyun ended it with both of us,” Jooheon confessed, trying not to meet Minhyuk’s gaze across the kitchen table. 

Most of the other members were otherwise preoccupied. Hyunwoo had given Kihyun the very important job of taking care of Changkyun, making sure he was relaxed and far away from having another panic attack. Actually, Kihyun had insisted, probably because he knew how to keep Minhyuk away. Jooheon too stressed he needed to keep his distance, but Minhyuk was so worried. He needed to see Changkyun and hold him and tell him everything was okay. 

“He was going to tell you...but I guess...he couldn’t,” Jooheon continued, wrapping his hands around his mug of coffee. 

Minhyuk chewed on his bottom lip. He nodded a little, still not quite understanding how it had gotten to this point. As soon as they had started working again, they’d just stopped sleeping together. Changkyun still slept in Minhyuk’s bed at night and they still cuddled and kissed. Though Minhyuk had been slightly anxious that Changkyun’s interest in him might’ve begun to fade, he hoped that as soon as there was a chance to be intimate, things would be fine again. 

Apparently, that wasn’t the case.

Changkyun just...didn’t want to do this anymore. 

Minhyuk dragged his hands through his hair. “...Can we go sleep in the studio or something?” he asked. “I think I want some space too.”

Jooheon glanced over at the kitchen door for a moment before nodding. 

-

They laid on the makeshift bed on Jooheon’s studio floor, built from a spare blanket from the dorm and the throws from Jooheon’s couch. Jooheon had insisted that Minhyuk sleep on the couch itself, but the elder declined, just wanting to be held and get a little bit of comfort.

The cats were curled up in the dip between them, sound asleep. 

Minhyuk checked his phone for what felt like the fiftieth time in the last ten minutes, hoping for a text from Changkyun. 

Minhyukku: Im sorry if I upset u 

Minhyukku: pls tell me if there’s anything i can do 

Minhyukku: I didn’t mean to hurt u 

Minhyukku: im really sorry :((((

“Min...” 

“I know,” he mumbled, locking his phone and sliding it over to Jooheon’s side of the “bed,” just out of reach. 

Hesitantly, Jooheon touched Minhyuk’s cheek, rubbing gently with his thumb. “Are you alright?”

Minhyuk shook his head, shifting a little closer. Their noses were brushing together, breath mingling. “...It really hurts.”

“....where?

He shook his head again. 

“Tell me where.”

“It’s stupid.”

“Min.”

Minhyuk swallowed, closing his fingers around the hand on his cheek, moving it down to press against his chest. “Right here...”

Jooheon let out a low exhale, his grip almost tightening on the fabric of Minhyuk’s shirt.

“Is this what heartbreak feels like?” Minhyuk asked. Jooheon’s palm against his chest almost soothed that painful ache. 

“You never felt it before?” Jooheon asked. 

Minhyuk shook his head. “I...I mean I knew it’d hurt...but not this much.”

Glancing down, Jooheon fiddled with the other’s shirt thoughtfully. “...Wanna know a secret?”

Minhyuk nodded, looking at the blond expectantly. 

“...It hurts for me too.”

Minhyuk started to speak before choosing against it. He leaned down, doing his best not to disturb the cats, and pressed a gentle kiss against Jooheon’s chest, right where his heart was. “...Do you think we can get through this?”

“...I dunno.”

“...Please don’t leave me.”

Jooheon gave him a weak smile, guiding Minhyuk to lift his head back up. “I don’t plan on that.”

Minhyuk’s heart thudded slowly in his chest, warmth swelling and bubbling into his throat. “...You’ll stay with me?”

Jooheon nodded, dipping his head slightly to let their lips meet in a slow kiss. The heat multiplied, enveloping Minhyuk’s entire body. In the cool room, lying against the cold laminate floor, Minhyuk felt like he was about to catch fire. Was the warmth reaching Jooheon too? Could he feel it? 

“Can I tell you another secret?” Jooheon asked, his voice ever so gentle and quiet, barely more than a whisper. 

Minhyuk nodded, hanging onto every word. Like they were oxygen and he couldn’t take another breath until Jooheon spoke again. 

“I love you.”

Minhyuk went numb, breath catching in his throat. For a moment he just stared at Jooheon, slack-jawed. Then he suddenly moved, tangling his fingers in the mess of blond hair and kissing him so desperately, trying to convey even a touch of the emotions that were crashing down on him. 

“I love you,” Minhyuk whispered when they broke away for a second. “I love you so much.”

“I love you,” Jooheon repeated, unable to hold in a smile. “...I didn’t think you did, though.”

“Really?” Minhyuk grinned, nuzzling his lover gently. “Did you miss how crazy I am about you?”

“Maybe I didn’t want to get my hopes up,” the rapper chuckled, fiddling with the hair at the base of Minhyuk’s neck. 

Minhyuk gave a small laugh, before the warmth was interrupted by a sudden painful pang. “...There’s...just one problem.”

Jooheon hummed quietly, his own expression crumbling slightly. 

“...I love Changkyun too.”

The blond nodded a little, squeezing his eyes shut. “...Yeah...same.”

“What’re we gonna do?”

“I dunno.”

“Are we gonna be okay?”

“...I dunno, Min.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> The next chapter is one of my favourites, possibly second to chapter 2. 
> 
> Remember that Chapter 6 will be up on December 25th to make up for this chapter being shorter.  
> Chapter 7 will be up on January 2nd and we’ll go back to weekly updates on Thursdays
> 
> Please feel free to follow me on twitter for more yelling about boys @minmeowpd


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clownfish & Sea Anemones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS!  
> I hope you all have a wonderful holiday period!  
> I love you all sosososo much and thank you for all the support you’ve blessed me with this year!   
> Also, thank you for over 1k hits on this baby! It means so much ;____;
> 
> As a gift, here is a generous helping of Joohyuk, as told by Jooheon

Jooheon couldn’t put a date on it exactly. Obviously, he had always been close to Changkyun, considering him one of his closest friends...but at some point his feelings had transitioned to something deeper. 

But keeping it to himself was simple. There were plenty of things he kept secret. For the first year and a half of living in the dorms with his band members, he didn’t tell any of them he was gay. Changkyun was one of the first people to find out in the group, and of course, it didn’t change how the younger treated him. 

His feelings for Changkyun definitely began to shift around the time they moved into their current dorm. Jooheon had wanted to room with the other rapper, but the arrangements didn’t quite work out like that. He’d pouted and complained about it for a few days, but eventually became grateful of the forced space between himself and Changkyun. The urge to be close to the maknae was almost unbearable some days, when all he wanted to do was touch him. 

Jooheon couldn’t put a name on his feelings until after they started sleeping together. They had rented a room for some privacy and a chance to just lose themselves in one another. At some point, Jooheon had watched Changkyun fall asleep beside him, and thus had the impending realisation he was falling for the maknae. 

But Changkyun wanted no strings attached. No feelings were allowed. 

So Jooheon kept it a secret, throwing any pain or frustration he felt into his music in an attempt to make sense of some of it. 

It really did hurt as much as the songs he listened to said. 

It was almost too painful. 

Minhyuk almost became a safety net for Jooheon’s feelings; something else to focus on.

But it wasn’t long before Jooheon was falling for him too.

In a perfect world, Jooheon would be with both of them. But if he couldn’t even convince Changkyun to date him, then he had no chance with Minhyuk, let alone date both of them at the same time. 

If anything, this was even more of a reason to keep quiet...neither of them would want to date him if they knew he was in love with someone else too. 

What Jooheon hadn’t counted on was Changkyun backing out. 

And Minhyuk loving him back. 

And Minhyuk being in love with Changkyun too. 

It was almost comforting knowing that Minhyuk felt the same way he did.

Without waking Minhyuk up, he slipped out of the studio to grab them both some breakfast from the canteen downstairs. When he returned, his heart practically melted at the sight; both Gucci and Yoshi were curled up against a sleeping Minhyuk, whose hand rested on one of the smaller cat’s paws. Jooheon placed the bag of food on his desk before crouching down, snapping a couple of photos of the elder with his babies. 

Jooheon then reached out, lightly brushing Minhyuk’s hair aside. “Min...I brought breakfast,” he called out gently. 

Minhyuk just groaned and lifted his head, eyes still squeezed shut. “Mmm...” He blinked a couple of times, taking in his surroundings. “Oh...I forgot we slept here.”

“You alright?” Jooheon asked the elder, scooping Gucci up into his arms. The cat moved to sniff at his hoodie before settling down more comfortably. 

Minhyuk nodded, rubbing at his eyes. “...Do you have a change of clothes or something I can borrow?”

“Sure. It’ll probably be too big for you though,” the younger replied, carefully getting to his feet and retrieving their breakfast. 

“S’fine.” Minhyuk reached for his phone, frowning a little at the lack of messages. 

Once Jooheon had fed the cats, he sat back down with Minhyuk to dig into his own breakfast. The elder moved closer, letting their knees knock together. Despite having slept on the floor, Jooheon felt pretty refreshed. Though Minhyuk seemed to be a little bit down...

“...Hey,” the blond began, one hand finding the elder’s and rubbing his knuckles gently. “...I know it’s...not gonna fix anything...but...could I take you out after practice?”

Minhyuk blinked, looking up from their hands to meet Jooheon’s sincere gaze. 

“My treat. I’ll buy you something really nice.”

The elder chuckled, unable to hold back a smile. “You don’t have to do anything for me, Honey...you being here with me is enough.”

“But I want to,” the rapper insisted. “If it’ll cheer you up and make you smile, then it’s enough of a reason.”

Minhyuk shifted closer, wiping crumbs from the younger’s toast away from his lips. He leaned in, kissing Jooheon before resting his head on his shoulder. “...You’re sweet...” he sighed, letting their fingers lock together tightly. “But yeah...take me somewhere nice.”

Jooheon licked his lips, his free hand moving to rest on the small of Minhyuk’s back. His heart was fluttering in his chest at the closeness. A weight had been lifted with his secrets finally revealed. “...I was wondering...”

“Mmm?” Minhyuk was pressing light kisses against Jooheon’s neck.

“...could it be an actual date?”

“...But we haven’t got formal clothes here.”

Jooheon blinked before bursting out laughing. “We don’t have to wear suits! Just...going as we are is fine.”

Minhyuk pulled back, cupping the blond’s cheeks with both hands. “Alright. An actual date it is!”

They shared another brief kiss before finishing up with breakfast and getting ready for practice downstairs. 

-

Changkyun had turned up, but honestly looked worse for wear. He exchanged a few words with Kihyun before proceeding to spend the rest of the practice session in silence. 

Once they were done, Jooheon hightailed after the maknae, who had tried to make a quick exit and head back upstairs to his studio. 

“How’re you feeling?” he asked, keeping his tone as gentle as possible. 

“...fine.”

“...did you wanna talk at all?” 

Changkyun shook his head. 

“...I told Min...”

Still nothing.

“He’s worried about you.”

Changkyun sighed, glancing over at the practice room door. His eyes met with Minhyuk’s through the window. “...listen, I just really want some space right now.”

Jooheon paused for a moment, a pang thudding painfully in his chest. “...Alright...” 

Without another word, the maknae turned to head up the stairs, gripping the railing tightly. 

Not two seconds later, Kihyun left the dance studio, quickly following Changkyun. Jooheon reached out to grab his sleeve. “Hyung. What’s going on?”

“I’m sorry, Jooheon-ah, it really isn’t my place to say,” the elder replied, trying to wriggle away from Jooheon. 

The taller man moved to stand in front of him, blocking his path up the stairs. “Please, I just want to make things right.”

“I know that...but he needs time to process things,” Kihyun replied, lowering his gaze slightly. “He’ll come around.”

Jooheon glanced down the corridor, chewing on his bottom lip before dropping his voice down to a whisper. “Do you know?”

Kihyun paused. “I know some stuff...”

“How much?”

“...Stuff I can’t say out here,” the elder replied, giving Jooheon a knowing look. He sighed after a moment, stepping up to the other man’s height. “He just needs some time to figure things out...is that okay?”

“...Yeah...”

Kihyun gave the blond’s shoulder a firm squeeze before scaling the rest of the stairs. Jooheon ran a hand through his hair before heading back down into the practice room. Minhyuk was talking to Hyunwoo.

“What, so I’m just being thrown out of my own bedroom?!” Minhyuk squawked. “That’s not fair!”

“It’s just until things calm down, okay?” Hyunwoo said gently.

“Woah, what’s happened?” Hoseok piped up, slinging an arm around Hyungwon. 

“Min-hyung and Changkyun-ah had a fight,” Hyungwon mumbled. 

“We didn’t!” Minhyuk insisted. “I don’t even know what I did! He’s just started ignoring me!”

Hyunwoo raised both his hands, waving them slightly. “Guys, please don’t make this bigger than it already is.”

“I’m not! I just want to know why I’m being thrown out of my own bedroom! If Changkyun’s the one with the problem with me, he can move!”

“It was Kihyun’s suggestion. He’ll switch with you.”

“And why is Yoo Kihyun sticking his nose in it?!”

“Min, calm down,” Jooheon said, rubbing the elder’s upper arm. “It’s not that big of a deal, it’s just until Kyun feels more comfortable.”

Minhyuk wrenched himself away before going to grab his stuff from the other side of the room. “This is such bullshit. I can’t believe he’s doing this.” He was out of the door before anyone else could say anything. 

Jooheon caught up with him by the elevator. “Min.”

“Go away.”

“Min, please.”

“Just leave me to it, alright?” the elder snapped, stepping into the elevator. 

Jooheon held the door open, one foot inside to stop it from moving. “Lemme just go get the cats and I’ll go home with you.”

Minhyuk sniffled, turning his head away and wiping at his eyes. “...This sucks.”

“I know...and I wish there was something I could do to fix it, but I’m just as in the dark as you are.”

Minhyuk swallowed thickly, finally looking at Jooheon. “...I’ll wait downstairs.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah.”

-

Minhyuk dumped a pile of clothes onto Kihyun’s bedroom floor. He made sure to leave as much of a mess as possible, so that when the other singer returned home, he would have to see his usually pristine room in chaos. 

Jooheon watched as Minhyuk went between the two rooms, leaving the stripped bedding on his own bare mattress. 

“...Remind me to never piss you off,” the blond said, moving to tuck the Minhyuk’s sheets onto Kihyun’s mattress. 

“It’s just the nerve of that pipsqueak.”

“Which one?”

“Both of them!” Minhyuk groaned, struggling to attach one corner of the sheets to the mattress, before slumping down to the floor with a sob. 

Jooheon rounded the bed, crouching down beside Minhyuk. “Hey...”

The elder pressed his palms against his eyes, shaking his head. “I don’t understand. He was so happy and fine one minute, and then the next he was just pushing us away. I don’t get it.”

“...I don’t get it either, Minnie,” Jooheon said gently, lightly rubbing the elder’s head, his fingers sliding down to rest on his cheek. “...But we kinda need to roll with it.”

“...how do you manage that?”

Jooheon sighed, reaching across Minhyuk’s discarded belongings and dragging the whale plushie closer. He offered it to the elder, who took it gladly, pressing his face into the soft blue fabric. “I’ve kinda been pushing my feelings aside for a really long time, Min.”

“...That’s sad.”

“It’s how it is.”

Minhyuk shifted closer, taking Jooheon’s hand in his own and squeezing it tightly. “...you shouldn’t have to.”

“Isn’t that what being in love is all about? Putting the other person before yourself?”

“But not at your own detriment, Honey.” Minhyuk’s voice was so gentle as he ran his thumb over the blond’s knuckles. “...I don’t want you to push your feelings aside...not for me...not anymore.”

Jooheon shoulders sagged. He tugged their hands up to press a kiss against Minhyuk’s knuckles. “...I’ll give it a shot.”

-

Jooheon navigated around the excited kids and families, carefully carrying two cups of coffee. He found Minhyuk where he had left him, sat on one of the benches in front of the largest tank in the aquarium. He paused for a moment, taking in the way Minhyuk watched the fish flit around, sticking together in their schools, bursting away from one another as a large manta ray swam between them. Minhyuk’s eyes were practically gleaming. 

The blond took a seat beside the other, offering a cup of coffee to him. Minhyuk held it in his hands, not making a move to tug down the mask resting over his face. 

“Do you think they like it here?” Minhyuk asked after a few moments, shifting closer to the younger so their thighs bumped together.

Jooheon hummed. “I don’t think the little fish mind it that much...they’d only stay in a small area in the ocean anyway.”

“What about the sharks? And the turtles?”

Jooheon lifted his mask, taking a slow sip of his coffee. A large sea turtle swam past the glass, a handful of tiny fish alongside it, hiding underneath its body. “I think it’s safer for the turtle here. It’s fed. People won’t catch it.”

“The sharks seem okay...” Minhyuk mumbled quietly, nodding at a larger one, its belly swollen. “That one’s pregnant.”

“The aquarium will be able to look after and raise the baby sharks,” Jooheon smiled. Hesitantly, he reached to squeeze Minhyuk’s leg in, what he hoped, was a reassuring manner.

“I hope so.”

“Y’know, I brought you here so you’d stop thinking about stuff...”

Minhyuk shook his head, rubbing his thumbs over the lid of his coffee cup. “I’m sorry. Guess I kinda suck as a date, huh?”

“Hey...don’t think like that,” Jooheon chided, reaching up to fiddle with some of Minhyuk’s hair. He hadn’t showered yet, still too disheartened to really do anything. It made his heart ache. Minhyuk really was so heartbroken over all of this...

Minhyuk carried on watching the fish for a few moments longer before Jooheon got to his feet. “C’mon. There’s something I wanna show you.”

“But...the sharks.”

Jooheon tugged on the elder’s sleeve, smiling down at him. “Please. Just come with me.”

Minhyuk followed Jooheon as he was led past dozens of tanks, filled with all manner of vibrant aquatic life. The elder tried to stop to have a closer look at some of them, but Jooheon kept pulling him along, their hands tightly clasped together. 

They eventually made it to a dark room filled with low lit tanks. Jellyfish drifted around, the lights shining through their bodies as they changed colour. Minhyuk watched them for a few moments, taking in the way they swayed in the gentle current of the tank. Then he turned to Jooheon, the colours reflecting in his eyes.

Their hands clasped tighter together. 

“They’re really weird right? They just kinda...wriggle about and bump into each other. They don’t even have eyes,” Jooheon marvelled, stepping a little closer to one of the tanks.

Minhyuk cocked his head to the side. “But why did you want me to see the jellyfish?”

Jooheon then looked back at the elder. “They’re so pretty, but can really hurt you too...the prettiest ones are the most poisonous, but you can’t help but want to touch them...just out of curiosity.”

Minhyuk nodded a little with a hum. “I wanna untangle them...” He pointed to one of the larger jellyfish, its tentacles all knotted together. “I mean...it’d hurt, but it might hurt them too being left like that.”

“But you’d get hurt anyway? Even if it didn’t bother the jellyfish?”

“...Maybe...”

“They don’t hurt you on purpose though...they don’t realise how dangerous they are...”

Minhyuk paused, pressing closer to Jooheon. “...I don’t wanna be a jellyfish.”

“No?”

“...I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“Then what would you rather be?”

They carried on through the aquarium, hand in hand, pausing to read signs by the tanks to find a better match. 

“These,” Minhyuk said quietly, running his fingers across the glass. Tiny clownfish swam around the tank in a blur of orange and white. “...I’m that one.” He pointed to a particularly tiny fish, weaving in and out of a sea anemone.

“...Which one am I?” Jooheon asked, leaning down to peer closer. “This little yellow one?”

“No, you’re the anemone.”

Jooheon blinked, looking up at Minhyuk. “That gross wriggly thing?”

“It’s its house. Its home. It lives there to stay protected from the other bigger fish...and it stings anyone who tries to hurt either of them,” Minhyuk explained. “It protects the fish...and the fish defends the anemone. They work together as a team.”

Jooheon couldn’t help but smile, straightening up a little. “I’m your home?”

The elder nudged Jooheon, his expression hidden behind his mask, but from the way his eyes crinkled, he was definitely beaming away. “Yeah. I feel safe with you...and I know you won’t hurt me.”

“Will you let me keep protecting you?” the blond asked after a pause, his eyes drifting back over to the tiny orange fish. 

Minhyuk squeezed the younger’s hand tightly. “If it means I can protect you too, then yes.”

-

The dorm was silent by the time they returned home. Their shoes were left carelessly by the front door as they hurried to Kihyun’s room. Once the bedroom door was locked, Jooheon was shoved against it, lips pressed against his own in a fierce kiss. Minhyuk was already unzipping the younger’s jacket, sliding it over his shoulders, letting it pool around their feet along with the rest of their clothes. 

“He’s gonna go nuts,” Jooheon mumbled in between kisses as they laid down on the bed, naked bodies flush against one another. 

“I don’t care,” Minhyuk whispered, pulling the blond into a flurry of needy kisses.

Minhyuk needed comfort. That much was apparent. They hadn’t been able to get intimate for the past few nights, only sharing a few kisses from underneath Jooheon’s duvet, praying that neither Hyunwoo or Hyungwon would hear them. 

Even though Jooheon also wanted that comfort, that reassurance, that closeness, he didn’t want this to just be some indulgent encounter where they could lose themselves in one another. Minhyuk deserved more than that. Their love deserved more than that. 

Jooheon pinned the elder down into the mattress, taking in the way shadows danced over Minhyuk’s chest. He was already short of breath, lips parted and glistening with saliva. Jooheon adjusted his grip on the other, holding both wrists in one hand, the other trailing over Minhyuk’s neck. His pulse thundered against the blond’s fingers. 

“You okay?” Jooheon asked, words soft and gentle. 

Minhyuk held Jooheon’s gaze for a few moments before nodding. “I am now.”

“Feeling better now you’re underneath me?” Jooheon couldn’t help but chuckle, his hand moving to trace over the elder’s chest. He was so warm under his touch. 

“It’s one of my favourite places to be. Didn’t you know?”

Jooheon smirked, dipping his head and sealing their lips together in a slow kiss. He could taste the ice cream they had just shared on Minhyuk’s tongue. “...Can I take my time with you?”

Minhyuk squirmed underneath the younger, tilting his head to the side. “You’re not gonna tease me, right?”

Jooheon grinned before shaking his head. “Not unless you want me to.”

“I never want you to.”

“Then I won’t.” Jooheon released Minhyuk’s wrists in favour of running his palms over the elder’s body. He hummed quietly at the sensation of fingers carding through his hair, nails scraping over his back. “Can I mark you?”

“Please.”

Promotions were coming up soon. Anything Jooheon left had to be concealed by their clothing. He pressed kisses over Minhyuk’s chest, lowering his head to suck just below his ribcage. Then again beneath that. A trail of dark marks began to form, travelling all the way down to the elder’s hipbone. Jooheon glanced up, gauging the other’s reactions; in the dark he could just about see the way Minhyuk’s eyelids were fluttering. 

“Can you keep quiet for me?” Jooheon asked, his words practically a breath. 

“M-mmn...I don’t know...” Minhyuk replied. His voice was already strained. They’d barely even started. 

“I can go get the fan,” the rapper suggested, sitting back on his heels. “I’ll put it by the door.”

Minhyuk gave a hesitant nod, watching as Jooheon searched around for his discarded underwear before slipping out of the room. 

When he returned a couple of minutes later, hauling the large fan into Kihyun’s bedroom, he went very still. Minhyuk was on all fours, his face pressed into the pillows as he fucked himself with his long fingers. Lube and a couple of packets of condoms were scattered on the bed. 

“Where’d you get those?” Jooheon asked once the fan was plugged in and switched to the highest, loudest setting. The condoms definitely weren’t what they usually used.

“M-mmn...Drawer,” Minhyuk mumbled, curling his fingers deeper. “...sorry...I got impatient.”

Jooheon joined the elder on the bed, wriggling back out of his underwear. “It’s fine, baby,” he purred, running his fingers over Minhyuk’s thighs. “Can I still go slow?”

Minhyuk groaned in reply, twisting his hand a little. “I...I dunno...I just wanna feel good.”

Jooheon held the elder’s wrist, guiding the digits deeper, earning a gasp from within the folds of fabric. His thighs were already shaking, hips rocking back eagerly against the pressure. “What do you want then, baby?”

Minhyuk shuddered. “Keep calling me that...”

“You like that?”

Minhyuk nodded, about to speak before his CD words morphed into a whine as his fingers were pulled free from his entrance. “N-no...”

“Patience, baby,” the blond purred, his voice dangerously low. He knelt down, nibbling along the back of Minhyuk’s thighs, up, up, until his tongue traced over the elder’s entrance. “...It’s minty.”

Minhyuk squirmed back against Jooheon’s mouth. “It...was the only one I could find in the drawer.”

“Does it tingle?” 

“Y-yeah.”

“Does it feel good?”

“M-mhm.”

Jooheon let the elder hang for a couple moments longer before starting again, swiping his tongue over the slick hole. He’d almost forgotten how good it felt to have Minhyuk against his mouth, shivering and shaking, fingers twisting into the sheets. 

While one hand held his lover’s hips steady, another moved further upwards, grazing Minhyuk’s abdomen with short, blunt nails; it brought on even more shivering, making Jooheon smirk against the other’s sensitive flesh.

His tongue edged past the tight ring of muscle and Minhyuk pushed back, hard. “W-wait,” he whimpered, one hand reaching back, scrambling for a hold on Jooheon. Fingers settled in his hair. “C-can I...can I try something?”

“What?”

“J-just...lie down...I wanna ride your face,” Minhyuk said, looking back over his shoulder. His pupils were blown wide, cheeks dusted a deep shade of red. 

The request made Jooheon’s abdomen stir. He’d done that once with Changkyun, but had been on the receiving end. It had felt good though...he wasn’t exactly in a position to deny Minhyuk of that. 

“What’s the best way to do this?” Minhyuk asked once Jooheon was on his back. “It makes more sense to sit this way.” He straddled the blond’s shoulders, his back to him. 

“Yeah, I was gonna say. I can hold you better like this,” Jooheon replied, grunting as he got more comfortable. He closed an arm around one of Minhyuk’s thighs. “If it gets too much, I’ll pinch you, okay?”

“Don’t let me suffocate you.”

“I’ll be fine.”

After a brief pause, Minhyuk lowered himself down, guided by Jooheon. The elder whimpered as Jooheon swept over his entrance with his tongue, as he hesitantly moved to rock himself against the blond’s mouth. 

“Is that okay?” Minhyuk asked, looking over his shoulder, noting the thumbs up he received in reply. “M’gonna move a bit more...”

Jooheon tightened his grip around his lover’s thighs, pulling him further down, letting his tongue push as deep inside Minhyuk as possible. If the sounds the elder was making were anything to go by, Minhyuk was enjoying this; enough to let him unwind, but not quite enough to make him cum. 

Though it was getting harder to breathe.

Jooheon quickly pinched Minhyuk’s leg, causing him to spring away, helping the blond sit up. “Sorry. Was that too much?”

“It’s fine. I’m fine,” Jooheon mumbled in reply, the rest of his words cut off by a needy kiss from his lover. “Easy, Min. I’m fine, really.”

Minhyuk pouted, making a quiet noise against the younger’s jaw as he continued to kiss him there. “Do you want anything?”

Jooheon hummed in thought, leaning into the way Minhyuk was touching his cheeks. “More of that...”

“Kisses?” Minhyuk asked, pushing Jooheon’s bangs away from his forehead. 

“Yeah.”

Minhyuk smiled, stealing another few kisses. “You’re so cute. Here’s me wanting gross stuff and you just want kisses. So so cute.” He tilted his head down, beginning to lower the kisses, spreading them over his arms and torso. “Honestly, the cutest person I’ve ever seen.”

Jooheon nibbled his bottom lip, sitting back and letting Minhyuk continue his journey south, wincing every now and again as a mark was leftbehind. “I really hope they don’t make me wear anything low cut.”

“It’ll be fine. Don’t worry,” Minhyuk replied, spreading Jooheon’s legs apart, kissing the inside of his thighs. “You have so many...”

“What?”

“Freckles.”

“...Freckles?”

“I’m kissing all of them, but you have so many.”

Minhyuk was at his knees by now and Jooheon couldn’t ignore the way his chest practically burst with such utter adoration for the other male. “Baby...come back up here,” Jooheon called quietly, holding one hand out, waggling his fingers for effect. 

Minhyuk grinned, shuffling back up the bed. He practically threw himself at the blond, pushing him into the pillows and sealing their lips together in another kiss. Jooheon carded his fingers through the elder’s hair, one arm circling his waist as Minhyuk got settled above him, straddling his hips.

Time went slower like this. It always did with Minhyuk. Jooheon could just allow himself to get drunk off the elder, swallowing as much of him as he could, letting their bodies slot together like perfect puzzle pieces. And there was no rush. No urgency. They could kiss like this for hours...honestly, how long had they even been kissing? Was the sun coming up?

“Jooheon,” Minhyuk whispered as they eventually broke apart. 

It was so rare that he heard the other say his name. It was always nicknames and pet names...but hearing his name on the other’s tongue was just divine right now. It made him shiver. 

“Jooheon.”

“I’m listening. I’m here.”

Minhyuk paused before pressing a light kiss against the younger’s nose, unable to hold back a bright smile. “I love you.”

Jooheon beamed. He knocked their foreheads together, noting the way his lover looked away, almost shyly for a brief moment. “Minhyuk...look at me.” Their gazes met. “I love you too.”

“Promise?”

“I wouldn’t lie.”

“You did lie for a bit though.”

Jooheon pouted a little, nipping at the elder’s bottom lip. “Hiding isn’t the same as lying.”

“But you’re not hiding anymore.”

“No.”

“And you love me.”

“You know I do. Ever so much.”

Minhyuk giggled, cupping Jooheon’s face, pressing as many kisses as he could against his lips. “You’re so cute. I’m gonna die, you’re so cute.” More kisses. Minhyuk’s mouth was everywhere. “Ah, I’m gonna combust, you’re so cute.”

Jooheon let the elder continue to pepper his skin with kisses. It felt good being fussed over like this. And if anyone knew how to fuss him, it was Minhyuk. He let himself indulge in the seemingly never ending wave of kisses before the elder shifted, rubbing himself against the blond’s cock. 

“Mmn...like this?” Jooheon groaned.

Minhyuk nodded. “I wanna be able to kiss you.”

“M’gonna suffocate for real this time.”

“It’d be a great way to go though, right?” Minhyuk was fiddling around with one of the condom packets. 

“I’d rather survive this if possible.”

“I’ll do my best,” Minhyuk grinned, sliding the condom into place before getting into position, guided by Jooheon’s firm grip. 

It had been too long. Too fucking long. 

Jooheon rolled his head back, dark brown eyes fluttering shut as the heat engulfed him. Minhyuk was so tight. So hot. He dug his nails into the elder’s hip, rocking himself slowly inside the elder. 

“Fuck...” he breathed, his words soon robbed from him as Minhyuk’s lips fitted against his own. The movements were slow, unhurried, deep, and Jooheon could have just lost himself there and then, swallowed up by everything Minhyuk gave him. 

“I love you,” Minhyuk whispered. 

He was so deep inside. Were they one yet? Maybe just a little bit more...

“I love you so, so much.”

Jooheon wrapped one arm around the elder’s shoulders, pulling him closer, their chests bumping together. Any sweet kisses were quickly replaced by something more fierce, more intense. The mattress creaked with each roll of Minhyuk’s hips, punctuated by a soft whine or a whimper.

Someone would surely hear them.

Neither of them were exactly quiet during sex. Though over the roar of the electric fan on the other side of the room, Jooheon could only just make out the low gasps Minhyuk let out with every snap of his hips. 

“I love you,” Jooheon finally said, breathless. 

Minhyuk came moments later, muscles tightening around the younger’s cock. All that escaped him was a sharp gasp; he dug his nails into Jooheon’s arm to try and stifle anything louder.

Then Minhyuk was off him, his heat gone. Jooheon blinked up at the elder, dazed. Minhyuk shuffled down the bed, pushing some of his hair behind his ears. He removed the condom before lowering his head and dragging his tongue along the underside of Jooheon’s cock. As soon as Minhyuk swallowed down Jooheon’s length, he was coming, nails dragging over the ink adorning the elder’s back. 

“Fuck, Min,” the blond groaned, arching his back off the bed, body twitching from his climax. 

Minhyuk swallowed before giggling and shuffling back up the bed, flopping down beside Jooheon. “You okay?”

Jooheon rolled onto his side, snuggling up against his lover. “Can’t talk. Brain mush.”

Minhyuk just laughed, bundling the other under the blankets, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “So cute even when you’re fucked out.”

“Mmmnn.”

“You gonna sleep?”

“Turn the fan off first.”

“But then I’ll have to let go of you.”

Jooheon paused, thinking this over. “Okay, ignore the fan.”

“Gladly!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> Please leave kind words as this particular holiday can be very hard for me. Your comments always make me ever so happy
> 
> Please feel free to follow me on Twitter @minmeowpd 
> 
> Thank you again, and I’ll see you in the new year!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boyfriends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!  
> Thank you for all the well wishes over the holiday period! I hope you all had a lovely time! 
> 
> We’re creeping towards the end of the story! 
> 
> Please enjoy!

Minhyuk seemed happier. Though he still wasn’t interacting with Changkyun outside of practice sessions, he seemed to have a skip in his step. He even seemed to be eating better, despite his constant insistence on feeding Jooheon with his chopsticks, cooing at him like a baby. 

Jooheon, as usual, loved the attention. 

His lockscreen was now set to that cute picture of Minhyuk asleep with his cats. 

Minhyuk’s was some ugly selca, which he insisted was the cutest picture of Jooheon in existence. 

There were a lot of those kinds of pictures now, though. Whilst snuggled up on the couch, the elder would sneakily snap photos of Jooheon while his attention was on the TV. The blond would feign annoyance, but like with most things, it was easier to just let Minhyuk have his fun and play as much as he wanted. 

-

“I was wondering,” Minhyuk began, tracing shapes over Jooheon’s forearm, the sheets covering their bare skin.

“Hmm?”

“Are we boyfriends?”

Jooheon turned his head to look at Minhyuk. He was apparently too transfixed with counting all the hairs on the blond’s arm to look up.

“I think we are,” Minhyuk mused. “We love each other....we go on dates...we hang out...we text each other....we sleep together. That’s boyfriend stuff, right?”

“I guess so,” Jooheon mumbled.

“But then, when did we start being boyfriends? On the first date? When we told each other we love each other?” 

Jooheon turned away. He stared at the ceiling, at the little glow-in-the-dark stars Kihyun had stuck up when they first moved in. Being boyfriends was a big thing...they’d be in a relationship. Back when they’d started sleeping together, they had both expressed not being ready to be boyfriends, but were they ready now? They definitely fit the bill...and it didn’t feel like they were particularly rushing into anything; the pair already had a bond they’d spent years building. It was just a step in a different direction...

But then...

“...My feelings for Changkyun aren’t gonna go away anytime soon. Would you be okay with that?” He turned to look at Minhyuk. “Being with someone who is already heartbroken?”

“...It’d be hypocritical of me to say no.”

“That’s not an answer.”

Minhyuk’s palms pressed against Jooheon’s cheeks. “If you accept me when I’m broken too, then I’ll accept you.”

“You’re not broken, Minhyuk.”

“I am a little.”

Jooheon chuckled, nudging Minhyuk’s nose with his own. “Being broken implies you need to be fixed. And I don’t want you to try and fix yourself. Especially not for me.”

Minhyuk blinked. “Really?”

“Of course not. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I wanted that?”

There it was. ‘Boyfriend.’

Minhyuk grinned, stealing a quick kiss. “So it’s settled. We’re boyfriends.”

“Yeah,” Jooheon smiled, letting their foreheads bump together gently.

“At least I know when our anniversary is,” Minhyuk laughed, pulling the younger even closer. 

“You’re thinking that far ahead?”

“I’m already planning our wedding.”

“Yeah...please don’t ever change.”

-

Things needed to be done properly. People needed to know about the relationship. But it didn’t feel right to tell anyone before Changkyun. Which was why both Jooheon and Minhyuk were waiting nervously outside Changkyun’s studio. 

“He’s not gonna wanna talk to us,” Minhyuk whined, bouncing on his feet a little. 

“Just give him a chance,” Jooheon chided. He straightened up as the door clicked and swung open. Changkyun stood there, tucked into his oversized hoodie, thin-rimmed glasses resting on the bridge nose.

The maknae paused, glancing between the pair of them before smirking. “Got bored of each other already?”

“Pardon?” Minhyuk gawked.

“I guess I can pencil you both in for about twenty minutes,” Changkyun muttered, holding the door open. 

Jooheon had to push Minhyuk inside, hushing his protests. 

“Alright. Who am I taking first?” Changkyun asked. He sat down on his chair before swivelling around to face them, legs spread. “Or I can take both of you, I guess.”

Jooheon cleared his throat, quickly shaking his head. “Sorry, you’re misunderstanding. We’re not here for...that.”

“Sex?”

“No.”

“Then why are you here?” Changkyun drawled, clicking his tongue. “Make it quick, whatever it is. I’m busy.”

“Kyun...” Minhyuk said quietly, gripping Jooheon’s hand and lacing their fingers together. 

The maknae didn’t miss the way Jooheon squeezed back, giving their intertwined hands a pointed look.

“We wanted you to be the first to know. We’re dating,” Jooheon quickly jumped in. He was almost too afraid to meet the youngest’s gaze, so afraid of hurting his feelings. 

Changkyun’s eyebrow twitched, his piercing glinting under his dark bangs. “Oh.”

Minhyuk stepped a little closer. “We’re boyfriends...like, officially.”

Changkyun sat back in his chair, swivelling from side to side. “That actually makes sense...you’re a good match.”

Jooheon blinked. “Really?”

“Yeah. You’re already so close. It’s good. I’m happy for you guys.” He smiled sweetly, eyes crinkling under his glasses. “Are you gonna tell the others?”

Minhyuk and Jooheon shared a confused look with one another before the blond spoke up. “...are you sure it’s okay? It’s not weird or anything?”

“Why would it be weird?” the younger rapper asked. 

“We just thought...I mean, if you’re mad at us...or upset, then we can talk about it,” Minhyuk offered, linking arms with Jooheon. “If you want?”

Changkyun waved a hand. “Honestly, it’s fine. I’m really happy for both of you.”

Silence stretched between them for a few moments.

“Is that it?” Changkyun asked eventually, his tone perhaps a tad sharp. “I’ve just got a bunch to do. Sorry to chase you guys out.”

“N-no, it’s fine,” Minhyuk said, trying to keep his voice steady.

Jooheon guided the elder out of the studio. He lingered for a moment, about to speak, but decided against it. 

Honestly, what was he supposed to say? Changkyun had accepted it...almost too well. Was he expecting this? Did he want this to happen? Did he actually not even care and was just pretending to congratulate them to be polite? 

It only made the pain in Jooheon’s chest worse. 

-

The next day, Jooheon and Minhyuk called a team meeting. It was time for the other members to know. It didn’t seem like there was a right or wrong way to do it. Telling the members one by one could create tension; they may wonder why they found out later than someone else. Also, it was only fair to tell everyone before they found out another way. Although, Kihyun probably already knew. And Hyunwoo by proxy. 

Jooheon and Minhyuk stood in the middle of the living room, facing the other members who were sat on the couch. Changkyun was perched on the arm, seemingly more interested in his phone. 

“So, uh....I dunno how many of you already know this. Or know what I’m gonna say,” Jooheon began, fiddling with his sleeves awkwardly. 

“Are you moving out?” Hyungwon asked.

“Oh, please don’t,” Hoseok pleaded. “It’ll be so quiet!”

Jooheon waved his hands a little. “No one’s moving out. It’s just that...well...Minhyuk and I...”

Minhyuk stepped closer to the blond, reaching to hold his hand tightly. “We’re dating. We’re together.”

The room went very quiet. Kihyun flashed a questioning look at Changkyun, who just shrugged. Maybe he didn’t know, after all...

Hoseok was the first to break the silence. “Like boyfriends?”

“Yeah. We’re boyfriends,” Minhyuk replied.

“Y’know that makes a lot of sense,” Hyungwon mused aloud. “This isn’t new or anything, is it?”

“I mean...we’ve been seeing each other for a while. But we made it official the other day,” Jooheon explained.

“We didn’t want to keep it a secret from you guys. You deserve to know,” Minhyuk added.

Changkyun locked his phone, shoving it in his pocket. “I think it’s good. They’re a really good match and already have a great bond.”

That earned another look from Kihyun. “Am I the only one who didn’t see this coming?”

“No, I’m surprised too. I’m happy for both of you,” Hyunwoo finally said. There was a pause, and a definite ‘but’ hanging in the air. “...do you want the label to know? Are you going to go public?”

Jooheon and Minhyuk looked at each other before the elder spoke up. “I think the staff deserve to know...but not straight away. It’s early days and it’s more important that you guys know first seeing as we, y’know, live together and everything.”

Hyunwoo nodded. “Don’t keep it a secret for too long though, okay?”

“We won’t,” Jooheon agreed. 

“Just a thought. Should the room change be permanent in this case?” the leader suggested, glancing at Kihyun. “Minhyuk and Jooheon can have your room and you stay with Changkyun?”

Kihyun didn’t seem too pleased. “...Yeah. Sure.”

Hoseok raised a hand. “Are we not allowed to be touchy with you guys anymore?”

Jooheon shook his head with a grin. “I don’t think I could even stop Minhyuk from touching you guys.”

“Hey!” Minhyuk whined, whacking his boyfriend’s arm.

“Just...please keep the couple-y stuff private,” Kihyun said. “Nothing outside my...your room.”

“Don’t worry, we’re not like that,” Jooheon reassured the elder.

“You are totally like that, don’t lie!” Hyungwon laughed.

Hyunwoo clapped his hand on his knee. “Like with anything, we’ll work through it. Thank you for being honest with us.”

Jooheon and Minhyuk bowed respectfully to their other members in thanks.

\- 

The room switch was completed within the next week or so. Kihyun reluctantly watched as the cat toys and beds were moved into his bedroom. He stood in the doorway, a box of his own belongings by his feet.

Jooheon’s bed had been moved into the room to at least give the illusion that the larger bed wasn’t being shared. Minhyuk’s whale took up enough space to warrant him using the double bed. 

“Which drawer are you using for your socks, baby?” Minhyuk asked once he shuffled past Kihyun with an armful of underwear.

“The second one. I cleared the top one for you,” Jooheon replied, placing one of the cat beds on the shelving unit by the window. 

“...do you need any extra help?” Kihyun asked.

“I think we’re fine,” Jooheon replied. “Thanks, hyung.”

Kihyun hovered for maybe a moment longer before picking up the box and heading down the corridor to his, officially, new bedroom. He shut the door behind himself, noting the lump hiding under the blankets. 

“Kyun-ah,” the elder called gently. He placed the box down before sitting down on the edge of the bed, moving some of the covers away to reveal a tuft of dark hair. “Can we talk now?”

“No.”

“You can’t keep avoiding this, you know.”

The maknae squirmed a little underneath his protective cover. “...I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about Jooheon?” Kihyun asked, lightly stroking the other’s hair.

“...because it wasn’t my place to say. He didn’t want anyone to know.”

“...But you knew?”

Changkyun finally sat up, dark bags under his eyes. He had barely slept. “This stays in this room.”

Kihyun raised an eyebrow, pulling his legs onto the bed to sit down more comfortably. “Promise.”

“...We were all doing stuff...all three of us.”

“All three? Wait, what?”

Changkyun groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. “Don’t make me explain it.”

“Start from the beginning.”

So he did. He told him everything. About how it all began with Jooheon. About the video. About how he seduced Minhyuk over and over again. About how they became a unit. About how he fell in love with both of them. About how he couldn’t handle it and backed out. About how he couldn’t even look at Minhyuk anymore. About how he had lost his best friend.

“I wasn’t lying, though,” Changkyun concluded, picking at his nails. “They are a good match...it makes sense they fell in love like this.”

“Have you told them how you feel?” Kihyun asked, gently rubbing Changkyun’s hand. 

“No. And I don’t want to.”

“Why not?”

Changkyun sighed. “Look how happy they are. Me telling them how I feel could ruin that for them.”

“...You should still be honest.”

“It won’t change anything. It’s fine. I’ll get over them.”

The elder shook his head. “Trust me. You won’t.”

Changkyun glanced at Kihyun, questioning.

“It’s been four years. And he still has no idea,” Kihyun said quietly. “And I still feel the same way I did on day one.”

“Then why don’t you tell him?” Changkyun asked, almost challenging Kihyun.

The elder held his gaze for a few moments before his shoulders slumped. “I can’t.”

“Then stop telling me to tell them. You know I can’t.”

Kihyun got off the bed, moving to start sorting through the box on the floor. “You can try and push me away like you did with the others, but it’s not gonna work.”

Changkyun flopped back down, pulling the blanket over his head.

“Go shower.”

“No.”

“If you don’t, I’m going to dump water on you.”

“...no wonder you roomed on your own,” Changkyun muttered. He received a plushie to the head for this troubles.

-

“You have the most amazing thighs, you know?”

“Really?”

“Honestly. I wanna bite them.”

“Just don’t leave any marks.”

“I know, I know.”

Jooheon watched as Changkyun’s eyes travelled down his lower body, tanned skin dimly illuminated by the bedside lamp. The maknae looked practically famished, lips parted, pink tongue peeking out. Palms pressed against the thick muscles of the elder’s thighs, squeezing experimentally.

“Fuck, I want you so bad,” Changkyun purred, his voice dripping with raw lust. 

Changkyun leaned down, moving to bite at Jooheon’s upper thigh, earning a soft gasp from the elder. Fingers slid into the maknae’s hair, tugging slightly, silently guiding him towards where he really wanted his mouth to be.

“Patience. I’ll get there,” Changkyun warned. His voice as so low. It sent chills down Jooheon’s spine. “I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna leave a few little marks right up here...where no one will see. Then I’ll fuck you. Sound good?”

“Um...”

Changkyun lifted his head, blinking at the elder’s hesitance. “What?”

“Look, I’ve not...I’ve never been fucked by a guy before,” Jooheon confessed.

The maknae’s expression and tone were serious. “But you’ve fucked guys.”

“Yeah, but I’ve never taken it.”

Changkyun hummed, running his fingers over the other rapper’s abdomen. “It feels different to a dildo.”

“How much different?” Jooheon asked, tilting his head to the side. 

“Better. Hotter.”

“...Will you ease me into it?”

Changkyun glanced further down the other’s body, eyeing his legs thoughtfully. “I could fuck your thighs instead?”

Jooheon’s stomach dipped. That...was definitely a tempting suggestion. Plus, with the way Changkyun was looking at him, he felt he was going to get eaten alive. “Y-yeah...good idea.”

He was instructed to lay on his side, with Changkyun pressed up against his back. The maknae huffed as he slicked up his erection before pushing it in between Jooheon’s thighs. “Tense your muscles,” the younger instructed, closing his fingers on his lover’s hips. 

Jooheon complied, earning a groan from the other male as he closed his leg muscles around Changkyun’s cock. Before long, the younger rapper began to build up a rough pace, sliding himself between Jooheon’s thighs, his cock brushing against the elder’s with each movement. Jooheon pressed his face into the pillow in an attempt to muffle his moans before fingers closed around the elder’s throat. He was pulled in for a kiss that was all teeth and tongue, their gasps for breath mingling. 

“You’re amazing, Honey,” Changkyun breathed, nipping at the elder’s bottom lip. “You feel so good.”

Jooheon was already losing himself in the heat, reaching back to tangle his fingers into his lover’s hair. They weren’t even fucking and he was already feeling so good. 

“Y-you can fuck me,” the blond whimpered, tightening his muscles as much as he could. “I want you to...”

“Yeah? You sure?”

Jooheon gave a shaky nod in reply and Changkyun pulled away. He rolled onto his back, patting his chest. “Sit here. I’ll get you all wet and ready.”

It really was crazy how easily Changkyun could work Jooheon into a mess. He’d hardly been given the chance to experiment and indulge like this, especially not with someone he trusted so dearly. Sure, he’d dated a few guys in the past, and even slept with them, but nothing compared to this. No one had paid this much attention to his needs, learning every little spot that made his toes curl, the way he liked to be held and kissed. 

Was it because he trusted Changkyun? Was that why it felt so good? He wasn’t nervous at all, just eager to try everything the maknae threw his way. 

If it were anyone else, he’d feel so vulnerable, so embarrassed, while he rode the wet muscle of Changkyun‘s tongue, taking his fingers as deep as he could. He didn’t care how he probably looked right now, how weird his moans must sound; Changkyun seemed to like it. No, he couldn’t get enough of it, punching even lewder noises from the blond with each swipe of his tongue. 

“I think you’re good,” Changkyun said, giving Jooheon’s knee a quick squeeze to prompt him to move. 

Jooheon shuffled away, only to be pulled back into a firm kiss. He was unable to hold stifle a gasp at the way he tasted on the other’s lips. “Fuck, Kyun...”

“Feel good?”

“Y-yeah.”

“You’re already so fucked out.”

“Yeah...”

Changkyun giggled, stealing a series of chaste kisses, letting Jooheon press as close as he needed. He loved the feeling of their skin touching. Fuck, he was already getting addicted, wasn’t he? 

“As it’s your first time, tell me how you want it,” Changkyun purred, marvelling at the way Jooheon looked back at him, eyes dark and glazed over, so hungry for more. 

“Hit me from the back.”

“Gladly.”

It didn’t even compare to a dildo or one of Changkyun’s seemingly endless collection of vibrators and toys. Jooheon pressed himself back against his lover, desperate for more of that thick heat slipping inside him. It was so hot. So fucking hot. He could burn. 

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” Changkyun growled, his nails almost threatening to break the skin of Jooheon’s hips, held in a vice grip. “How can you be so tight?”

“I-I...I dunno,” Jooheon whimpered, his forehead meeting the covers. “Can’t think.”

“Already? Jeez.”

His head was spinning, body moving on its own as it sought out more of that delicious heat burning him up from the inside. It felt so good. Different to fucking someone else, but still so good in its own way. 

With every snap of Changkyun’s hips, Jooheon let out a whine, earning a squeeze or a smack to the pillowy flesh of his ass. Whenever it looked like the elder was about to tumble over the edge, he would slow down, holding him still as he tried to grind back for just a little more friction against his sensitive muscles. 

“Not yet, gorgeous. It’ll feel so good when you come, this way. Lemme take my time wrecking you.”

“Please...please let me come.”

“Ssh. Not just yet.”

“Please...”

“Fine.”

Jooheon came, his seed splattering over the shower walls, the hot water making his skin tingle even more. He stood there, lips parted with heavy breaths, eyes slowly opening and focusing on the bathroom tiles, Changkyun’s presence vanishing. 

It had been weeks, almost two months since Changkyun had “broken up” with him and Minhyuk, and the pain was only getting worse with each passing day. 

He’d not only lost his lover. He’d lost his best friend too.

When the cameras weren’t rolling, Changkyun didn’t speak to either of them unless he had to, his aloof behaviour only worsening the pain in his chest.

It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. 

But what more could he do? He couldn’t force Changkyun to speak to him or hang out with him if he wasn’t interested.

Plus, he had to save face for the promotions. No one was allowed to know about the turmoil within the group that went on behind closed doors. 

Jooheon finished up in the bathroom, quietly entering his bedroom. Minhyuk was asleep, curled up on his side of the bed, his whale strewn away on the floor. 

The blond crawled into the bed beside his boyfriend, pressing up against his back and hooking an arm around his chest. A chill went down his spine when he heard a quiet sob. 

Minhyuk wasn’t asleep. 

“Min? What’s wrong?” Jooheon asked gently.

Minhyuk shook his head.

“Please don’t cry...tell me what’s wrong.”

The elder hesitantly rolled over to face Jooheon, eyes red and puffy from crying. “It’s stupid,” he croaked.

Jooheon carefully wiped the tears away from Minhyuk’s cheeks with the edge of the duvet cover. “It’s not stupid if it’s upsetting you.”

Minhyuk hiccuped, pressing his face into his boyfriend’s chest, allowing himself to be pulled closer. “I just miss him so much,” he confessed after finding his words. “It’s like I don’t even exist...like nothing that happened between us existed...”

“...Fucking hurts, right?” Jooheon mumbled into Minhyuk’s hair. 

“Do you hurt too?” Minhyuk asked cautiously.

“Every time I look at him.”

Minhyuk looked up at his lover, taking in the way his eyes were beginning to turn glassy with tears. “...Can we stop hurting for a little bit? I don’t wanna think anymore.”

Sure, losing themselves in one another might numb the pain for a little while, maybe twenty minutes or so, but what then? What about afterwards when Minhyuk would roll away, his back to Jooheon, leaving the blond unsure if his comfort would be wanted?

What about the next morning when Minhyuk got up first to have breakfast alone?

What about when Jooheon would find his boyfriend curled up on the couch, sobbing, trying to pin the blame on some drama he had been watching?

What about after all of that? 

Minutes later, Jooheon stared at Minhyuk’s bare back, his tattoo covered in fresh scratches. He turned over, facing away and finally letting out the tears he’d tried his best to hold in. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!
> 
> I’m currently uploading another social media au on twitter. It includes our favourite girls Mingi, Sangah and Dior ~ Please check it out if you feel so inclined! @minmeowpd


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooooo  
> Omg we’re so close to the end!   
> I hope you like this chapter   
> A lot happens 
> 
> Enjoy!!!

“Have you thought about whose family we’re gonna visit for the holidays?” Minhyuk asked. He lounged in the middle of the bed, Gucci and Yoshi both curled up in his lap, snoozing away. “We could spend Christmas with yours and New Years with mine?”

“Have you told your parents about me?” Jooheon asked from across the room. He was folding up their fresh laundry, being mindful not to mix up their socks and underwear.

“They know you!”

“...you know what I mean.”

Minhyuk glanced down at the cats, lightly stroking Yoshi’s head with his pinkie finger. “I told my mom I’m seeing someone. I didn’t say who, but she said she was happy for me...I’d rather tell her properly in person.”

“My mom guessed it was you. I didn’t even say I was dating a guy.”

“Are you out to her?”

Jooheon nodded. 

“Maybe we should go to her first,” Minhyuk mumbled thoughtfully. “It’ll be nice. I miss her.”

“You know there’s no rush to tell them, right?” Jooheon said, getting to his feet and going to sit opposite his boyfriend on the bed. “Not until you’re absolutely ready.”

Shifting slightly, Minhyuk let his socked feet brush against Jooheon’s legs. “...M’not.”

“And that’s fine.”

“Telling the managers was weird enough. Like, it’s nice how cool they were about it.”

Generally, dating wasn’t a problem as long as the managers knew. Letting them know added a level of protection. They hadn’t seemed too bothered about the fact that two members of one of their groups were dating, less so that said members were in a homosexual relationship. They’d suggested a room change, but weren’t surprised that it has already happened. They’d even asked if the pair of them wanted to move out of the dorm.

Jooheon hummed. “Do you think you’d take them up on the offer for us to get our own place?”

“...I’m not sure yet. It might be too quiet...”

Jooheon nodded. He moved a little closer, doing his best not to disturb the cats. “It’s an option.”

Gucci yawned with a stretch. She woke up her sister before hopping away from Minhyuk and stalking over to Jooheon where she rolled over, spotty belly inviting rubs.

“...Look, I was thinking...about like...the future and stuff...” Jooheon said, lightly stroking Gucci’s tummy, his fingers getting lost in her thick fur. “It’s probably early days...too early...but if we want this to work long-term...”

Minhyuk blinked, looking up at the blond, tilting his head in question.

“...I wanna get married. I want a family. And I know you do too...but we can’t do that here.”

Minhyuk swallowed, nodding a little.

“Would you consider moving? Like to the States or something?” Jooheon asked.

Silence hung in the air between them. Jooheon’s stomach twisted with nerves. It was such a big thing, and it had been plaguing his mind for weeks.

As wonderful as it was finally being with Minhyuk, he knew deep down that their relationship had no future in Korea. Not long term, anyway. And Minhyuk was already so broody; if he hadn’t taken on the life of an idol and met Jooheon, he would probably already be married with five kids by now.

“If it meant having kids, then sure, I’d be with a woman,” Minhyuk had once said, a long time ago, after helping out at a daycare. “I might never find my one true love, but I’d love my kids no matter what.”

It hurt. But honestly, if Minhyuk was given the choice of being with Jooheon or having kids, Jooheon would urge him to pick the latter. Perhaps it was stupid, but he only wanted Minhyuk to have the most happiness possible...something he was severely lacking lately.

“...I’d have to learn more English...but if you want to move, I’ll go with you,” Minhyuk finally said.

“We could do our enlistment together too,” Jooheon suggested.

Minhyuk shook his head with a chuckle. “Don’t be silly. You’re in your prime. Don’t throw that all away because of me.”

“So...when we’re done with enlistment, we’ll think about moving away?”

“Yeah,” Minhyuk smiled. “Let’s work towards that.”

-

After dance practice, Hyunwoo asked Jooheon to stay behind. Minhyuk hovered by the door, not sure whether to stay or go.

“It’s fine, Min, I’ll see you back home,” Jooheon was quick to reassure, giving his boyfriend a smile before the elder left.

Hyunwoo was wiping the back of his neck with a towel. “It’s nothing bad. Just sit down.”

“Whenever you say it’s nothing bad, it ends up being bad,” Jooheon sighed, plopping himself down on the floor in front of the eldest member. 

Hyunwoo soon followed suit, tossing a bottle of water over to the rapper. “First of all, how are things?”

“...in general or...?”

“With Minhyuk.”

Jooheon paused in unscrewing the lid of his bottle. He couldn’t lie to Hyunwoo or sugarcoat anything. Plus, he did want some advice from the leader. 

“...can I be honest?” Jooheon asked cautiously.

Hyunwoo nodded.

“I don’t know if it’s gonna work out,” he admitted. “I love him. So badly. But we’re both in pain...I thought being together might help us at least work past the stuff that was hurting us, but it’s only getting worse every day.”

Hyunwoo nodded, listening very carefully. “...I could be out of line, but there’s someone else hurting too, right?”

A chill ran down Jooheon’s spine. He looked back at the elder, holding his firm gaze for a brief moment, then glanced up at the security camera in the corner of the dance studio. “But I don’t know how to fix it.”

“I find being honest is best. Be honest like you have been with me,” Hyunwoo replied with a gentle smile. “You could be surprised.”

“...I dunno, hyung. I feel it’s too late to fix everything.”

“Nothing is broken. It shouldn’t be too difficult to fix.”

“...are you sure?” Jooheon asked, nails grazing over the paper label wrapped around his bottle. “What if it’s awkward? What if everyone else has a problem with it?”

“We’re family. We can work through that too.”

Jooheon sighed, tugging at his hair a little out of frustration. 

“Just know it’s not too late. And be very open.”

After a beat, Jooheon got to his feet. He quickly headed towards the door. He paused with his hand on the door handle before looking back at Hyunwoo. “But how did you...”

Hyunwoo just flashed him a wink in reply and started packing up his stuff.

Jooheon let out a breathy laugh, shaking his head beforehurrying out of the dance studio and up the stairs. He needed to thank Kihyun for this. But he also needed to plan out how he was going to approach Changkyun. 

-

No matter how hard Kihyun tried, he couldn’t get Changkyun out of bed. The maknae had been up all night in floods of tears, curled up in a ball in the corner of Minhyuk- Kihyun’s bed, trying to force air into his lungs through sharp gasps. 

Kihyun could only hold him, rubbing his back and offering him water when he calmed down. 

He couldn’t not ask for help.

Hyunwoo closed the door behind himself, looking down at Kihyun who was sat on the edge of the bed, stroking the Changkyun shaped lump. 

“Is he okay?” Hyunwoo asked, perching himself beside Kihyun.

“He’s barely slept. I don’t know what to do.”

Hyunwoo leaned closer, stroking the maknae’s head. His hair was greasy and dirty. “Changkyun-Ah...” he called. “Will you tell me what’s wrong.”

Silence.

“...is it okay if Kihyun tells me?”

Hyunwoo felt the rapper’s head move against his hand. A nod.

“...he’s heartbroken,” Kihyun said quietly, his eyes never leaving the form under the blankets. “He’s in love with Minhyuk...and Jooheon.”

“That’s rough. I’m sorry, Changkyun.”

Changkyun didn’t reply.

“...is there anything I can do to help? I can talk to them about how you’re feeling if you’re not up to it,” Hyunwoo suggested.

“What’s the point? They’re happy now. I’d just ruin whatever they’ve got,” came Changkyun’s muffled voice, finally.

“They had a thing going on,” Kihyun offered as explanation. “The three of them...Changkyun-ah didn’t want his feelings to change or affect anything.”

“...But it looks like it’s only served to make all three of you worse off,” Hyunwoo commented.

“No...they’re happy now.” Changkyun stirred under the duvet, finally moving to sit up. His hair stuck up in all directions, dark bags under his eyes. He hadn’t even wiped off his stage makeup properly, leaving dark stains over his eyelids. 

Hyunwoo gave the maknae a warm smile, ruffling his hair affectionately. “Minhyuk’s miserable.”

Changkyun blinked.

“He’s gone through three tubs of ice cream in the past week. The last time he did that was when he had an argument with Hoseok and they didn’t talk for days,” Hyunwoo explained. “I think they’re both hurting as much as you are.”

“...but how am I even supposed to...” Changkyun began, looking down at his lap. “...They wouldn’t want me. They love each other too much. It’d make things too complicated.”

“Have you tried?” Hyunwoo asked.

“No...but...”

“Then why don’t you try?” 

Changkyun swallowed. “I’m scared.”

Kihyun stole a quick glance at Hyunwoo before reaching to take one of the rapper’s hands in his own. “The most important things are scary. Think about your first audition. Your first stage. Our first performances together. They were scary, but you were fine, right?”

“I can talk to them for you, if you want,” Hyunwoo offered. “And then they can come to you if you don’t feel like you can approach them?”

Changkyun nodded. “I think...that’s easier.”

Hyunwoo gave the youngest member another pat on the head before getting to his feet. “Do you think you can have a shower? If you can’t, that’s okay.”

“...I’ll try later.”

“That’s the spirit.”

As Hyunwoo left the bedroom, Kihyun quickly followed him out, tugging on his sleeve. “Hyung.”

“Hm?” 

Kihyun lowered his gaze, squeezing the leader’s shirt tightly. “...if we’re being honest...is this where I tell you I’m in love with you?”

After a couple of moments of silence, a pair of arms wrapped around Kihyun’s body, pulling him in close. Lips were pressed against his own. It caught him off guard.

“Hyung.”

Hyunwoo lightly touched the younger’s cheek, knuckles brushing over flushed skin. “The most important things are scary, right?”

Kihyun frowned, pressing himself a little closer. “Say it back.”

“Let me take you out to dinner first. You deserve to hear it properly.”

Kihyun’s stern expression crumbled as he nestled against Hyunwoo’s neck, pressing a kiss there. “You drive me insane, you know.”

Hyunwoo hummed, nuzzling Kihyun’s hair gently. “Will dinner make it up to you?”

“...Dinner...dessert...for a month. And then maybe I’ll stop being mad at you,” Kihyun huffed. 

“Deal.”

-

Jooheon didn’t want to wait any longer. With each step towards Changkyun’s studio, his heart pulsed faster and faster. Nerves were eating him up from the inside.

He stood outside the door, hand raised to knock. What if he wasn’t even in? What if he didn’t even want to answer? What if he slammed the door in his face?

Just then, the door swung open, revealing a very dishevelled looking Changkyun. 

“Oh,” the maknae muttered, avoiding Jooheon’s gaze.

“I was....uh....I wanted to talk to you,” the blond mumbled, stumbling over his works.

This was so awkward.

“...Do you wanna come in?” Changkyun asked. “I was only gonna get a drink...but...yeah.”

So, so awkward. 

Jooheon sat on the couch across the room from Changkyun. The maknae had pulled his legs onto his swivel chair, curled up in a ball, swallowed up by his oversized hoodie. There were tear stains on his glasses. It made Jooheon’s heart ache.

“...I..wanted to to tell you something. It’s kinda been building up for a while and I don’t think I can wait any longer,” Jooheon began. 

The other rapper held Jooheon’s gaze with that icy stare. Even when curled up, so small, he looked intimidating. Like he was trying to look as hostile and unsettling as possible. Jooheon hated seeing him like this. It only served as a reminder of how distant they had become; best friends to lovers to...nothing. Barely even acquaintances. It hurt. He had to look away.

“...It’s...been like this for a while. I can’t remember, but...it’s not changed...and...”

The younger man blinked, the silence in the room almost making Jooheon squirm in his seat.

There really was no “right way” to say it. The plan he had made was starting to unravel. 

It was now or never.

“...I love you.”

The tension was so thick, like fog. Jooheon’s heart was beating a mile a minute and he dared look back up at Changkyun. He wished he didn’t. Changkyun went very still, his gaze trained on the coffee table between the two rappers. 

“I just...I figured you should know,” Jooheon added. 

Silence. So much damned silence. Jooheon hated it. He wanted to jump out of his seat, bundle Changkyun up in his arms and tell him how much he loved him. How this would all be okay. How they’d work past this. Then they’d kiss and—

“Can I digest this?” Changkyun said, tucked so deep into his hoodie. “Like...alone.”

“Kyun-“

“Please.”

Jooheon’s heart shattered in his chest, ice spreading through his entire body. “Kyun, you really don’t understand. We can work at this. It can work.”

“How? You expect me to just spread my legs and let you cheat on hyung? That I’ll be putty in your hands because you said a couple of nice things to me?!” Changkyun practically snarled, getting out of his seat. He looked so frail and tiny, eyes red and bloodshot from tears. “Feelings aren’t allowed. We said that. We agreed to that.”

“...no. You said that.”

“Just get out.”

Jooheon slammed the studio door shut behind himself, dashing back down the hallway and coming to a stop by the water fountain. He crouched down, clutching his head, trying to stop the seemingly endless stream of tears pouring down his cheeks, the tightness in his throat and the agony coursing through his body. 

It wasn’t meant to go like this. 

Why had it gone like this? 

How?

Someone was rubbing Jooheon’s back, offering him a tissue. A staff member. A lady. She was saying something, but Jooheon couldn’t hear anything.

-

“Your boyfriend is a dirty cheater,” Changkyun growled as he stepped into the living room, slamming the door. 

Minhyuk almost jumped from his spot on the couch, nursing a tub of ice cream. It was the first thing Changkyun had said to him in almost a week...and that kind of allegation... 

“What are you talking about?” Minhyuk asked, watching as Changkyun stood in front of the TV, commanding all of the elder’s attention. 

“I said, your boyfriend is a dirty cheater.”

Minhyuk placed the ice cream on the coffee table, getting to his feet. “What happened?”

Changkyun flung a hand out, gesturing in a vague direction towards the bedrooms. “Your boyfriend—“

“Use his name. Don’t be so disrespectful.” Minhyuk had risen to his full height now, almost towering over Changkyun. 

“Jooheon just confessed to me. He just told me he loves me,” he said, backing away slightly. “He wanted to cheat on you. It’s cheating.”

Minhyuk’s gaze suddenly changed, from angry to almost exasperated. “I’ve had enough of this. Come with me.” He grabbed Changkyun’s wrist, dragging him towards the double room Minhyuk and Jooheon shared.

Jooheon wasalready there, hunched over his laptop, earphones blasting music loud enough for the others to hear. His eyes were bloodshot, used tissues piled up beside him. He looked up, expression dropping as he saw the maknae being led into the room. “...Min, please not right now,” the blond said, voice thick from crying as he slid the earphones to rest around his neck. 

“Yes, now. We’re going to talk. Right now. All three of us,” Minhyuk said firmly. “Changkyun, sit on the bed. Jooheon, put your laptop away and budge up.”

Minhyuk was flexing his hyung status. It only made the rappers exchange a worried look before complying. All three of them sat on the bed, facing one another. Jooheon gave a quiet sniffle, wiping his nose with one of the tissues in his pile. 

“Right. Changkyun told me you were going to cheat on me,” Minhyuk began, turning his attention to his boyfriend.

Jooheon shook his head. “No, that wasn’t what I was doing. You know I wouldn’t go behind your back like that,” the blond insisted.

“Then what was that confession about?!” Changkyun snapped back.

“Because I was sick of keeping my feelings for you a secret, Kyun,” Jooheon explained. “It’s been tearing me apart. You won’t even look at me anymore, let alone speak to me. Do you know how much it hurts?”

Changkyun blinked, straightening up a little. “You think I’ve been having a great time without you guys? I’m a mess! You can see that, right?”

“You’re a mess?! You broke up with us!” Jooheon snapped.

Minhyuk reached out, grabbing both of the rappers by their ears, immediately turning their argument into whines of pain. 

“I’m going to get both of you grounded if you don’t stop squabbling like little kids,” Minhyuk growled, tugging their ears for effect. “Understand.”

“Yes, hyung,” the maknaes replied in unison. 

Minhyuk released them, turning his attention to the youngest. “Changkyunie...you never told me why you wanted to break up in the first place.”

Changkyun was rubbing his ear, red and sore. “Jooheon told you.”

“...no, I want to hear it from you. And I want the real reason. Not whatever lie you told Jooheon,” Minhyuk said.

Changkyun clutched the bed sheets tightly, looking down and avoiding the elders’ gazes. He wanted to run away. And throw up. His stomach was twisting so uncomfortably; it felt awful being cornered like this...

A hand closed around his own. Jooheon’s.

“I know it’s scary, Kyun...but please...just be honest with us,” the blond said gently, rubbing his thumb over Changkyun’s knuckles. “Please?”

Changkyun swallowed, allowing his fingers to lace with the other rapper’s. “...It’s hard...seeing you both together...you’re all happy and coupley and I’m just watching from the side,” he mumbled quietly. “I mean. That’s how I felt...I thought I was jealous...but I broke my own rule. My only rule.”

Minhyuk cocked his head to the side. “What rule?”

“No feelings,” Jooheon replied, tightening his grip on the youngest’s hand.

“I love you. Both of you. But I don’t know if I can...do what you guys are doing. Being together. Dating,” Changkyun began, fumbling over his words. “I am happy that you guys got together, though. Honestly.”

Jooheon and Minhyuk exchanged a glance before the elder took Changkyun’s free hand. “...if Jooheon’s already confessed, then I want to as well. I love you too, Changkyun.”

The maknae’s heart skipped a beat, his jaw hanging slack. “Really?”

Minhyuk nodded, giving a weak smile. “Since even before the tour ended.”

Changkyun looked at the other rapper. 

“...Since last year,” Jooheon said. “I’m sorry for not being honest...I didn’t know how you’d react. And I thought I could keep it under wraps.”

“...all this time? You’ve both had feelings for me?” Changkyun was bewildered. He couldn’t believe it. But it all started to make sense. In a way, it had been obvious. Perhaps Changkyun had been too blinded by his own jealousy and misconceptions that he had completely missed it.

“What I’ve wanted...for the longest time...was to date both of you,” Jooheon said, his voice very gentle. “Like, at the same time. But I understand if it’s something you can’t do.”

Changkyun looked at Minhyuk, who nodded. “It’s what I want too.”

“...but won’t me being there cause some kind of...wedge in your relationship? Like, you’re already so happy. I don’t wanna ruin that,” Changkyun said, still not letting go of the elders’ hands.

Jooheon and Minhyuk shared another look, the eldest laughing a little. “...It’s really not been all that great lately, if I’m honest.”

“We’re both pretty miserable without you, Kyun,” Jooheon admitted. “It almost feels like a misstep, starting without you.”

Changkyun nibbled his bottom lip. “But...it’s not too late, it it? Like, the damage hasn’t already been done, right?”

Minhyuk glanced at Jooheon briefly. “We’re...gonna move out. Get some space. Work on repairing things...”

Changkyun’s heart sunk. They were leaving him behind...carrying on without him. It was already too late for him to be a part of this.

“It might be for the best. For all of us,” Jooheon added. 

Now that he thought about it, maybe some space would do them all some good. Constantly being around each other in the dorm really hadn’t been the best for the three of them. It made things too difficult. Especially considering he had been rooming with Minhyuk for so long. 

“You’re...not leaving to avoid me...right?” Changkyun asked, daring to look up at the others. 

“It’s only for somewhere to sleep, if you think about it. We’ll still be working and performing together like normal,” Minhyuk smiled. He shuffled a little closer to the maknae, pulling him into a warm embrace. “I just want you to be okay with everything...and be more honest with your feelings.”

Changkyun sunk into Minhyuk’s arms, his eyes fluttering as his scent flooded his senses. Jooheon was soon there too, pressing close against his side. “I’ll work on it,” the maknae mumbled, clutching Jooheon’s shirt tightly as he buried his face into Minhyuk’s shoulder. “I’m sorry...for being such an asshole.”

“It’s okay, Kyun...” the blond mumbled, snuggling closer.

“And I’m sorry for making you cry,” Changkyun added.

“It’s okay. You’re worth crying over,” Jooheon couldn’t help but chuckle.

Minhyuk cooed at the two rappers. “You’re both worth crying over. But no more crying, okay?”

“Okay.”

-

“Aaaaaah, this place is so nice!” Hoseok chirped, bounding over to the window to take in the view. “You get so much sunlight in through here! It’ll be great in the summer.”

“I really love it,” Minhyuk smiled. “It feels like a good next step.”

Minhyuk and Jooheon had invited the other members to see their new apartment. The company had kindly put a deposit down on a place nearby the dorm, close enough for early morning pick-ups and far away enough for the pair of them to have some privacy. 

It was small, but big enough for the two of them; perfect for their first home together.

“Will you still come over for dinner?” Hyungwonasked. “Not that I can see you guys even using the kitchen here.”

“We’ll still visit lots! You can’t get rid of us that easily,” Jooheon laughed. 

“I can’t wait to have my old room back,” Kihyun sighed happily. 

“I’m still moving in there with you though, right?” Hyunwoo asked cautiously.

“Of course you are, dummy,” Kihyun replied, giving his boyfriend a gentle nudge.

“God, it’s not gonna be long before hyung and Kihyun move out too. What are we gonna do without our parents?” Hoseok whined.

The members slowly started filing out of the apartment, the maknae, having been quieter than usual, hanging back a little. 

“It’s nice. You’ll be happy here,” Changkyun said, his voice a low mumble. 

“I hope so,” Jooheon replied, leaning back against the windowsill, watching as Minhyuk trailed out of the front door. “It’s kinda big for two though, don’t you think?”

“...Maybe.” Changkyun shoved his hands into his pockets, glancing over at the tiny kitchenette. “Kids would fill it up.”

“...or a third person.”

Changkyun shook his head, looking up at Jooheon through his bangs. “You’d let me move in?”

“I’m just saying the offer is there...for whenever you’re ready.”

“Really?”

Jooheon just smiled, stepping across the room and approaching the other rapper. “Changkyun. I’ve loved you and waited for you for well over a year. If I have to wait a little longer, then that’s fine.”

Then Jooheon’s arms were around him, pulling him in close, enveloping him with that warmth that Changkyun had long stopped recoiling away from. He clung onto the back of the elder’s shirt tightly. “...give me some time...okay?”

“All the time you need.”

Changkyun hummed, noting the way Jooheon was rubbing the small of his back. “But what if things don’t work?”

“Dunno if we don’t try.”

Changkyun slowly pulled away from the hug, almost jumping out of his skin when he saw Minhyuk leaning against the doorframe. 

“You look good together,” Minhyuk smiled before bringing his hands up, making a heart shape, framing both of the rappers. “So cute.”

“Quit it.”

“You know~ There’s two bedrooms. More than enough space for three,” Minhyuk grinned before turning on his heels and leaving. 

At some point, as they were walking down the stairs, towards the entrance of the building, Jooheon’s hand found Changkyun’s, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“Hey,” Changkyun called, grabbing Minhyuk’s attention as he walked a little way ahead of them down the street. He held his free hand out to the elder, waggling his fingers. Minhyuk beamed, dashing back over to the rappers and taking Changkyun’s extended hand in his own.

They walked back to the dorm together, hand in hand. For the first time in months, Changkyun’s chest didn’t hurt. Instead, his heart fluttered, warmth spreading to his fingertips. Maybe the other two could feel that warmth too. If not, just need to hold them a little tighter for good measure. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so so much for reading!  
> I really hope this chapter brought a smile to your face.  
> The angst train is finally over.  
> But there’s still one chapter left! 
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts! I always love reading your comments!! 
> 
> Also please follow me on Twitter for more aus and general fangirling @minmeowpd
> 
> UNRELATED but I’m meeting day6 this weekend. I’M EXCITED!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are. The end. It honestly feels so weird. Even though I finished writing this months ago, it feels like I’ve gone through the whole writing process again. I dunno how to explain it.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy the conclusion to this story.
> 
> Oh btw day6 was amazing and I held their hands and they were all so handsome and jae made me well up :(

Changkyunie created the group 

Minhyukku joined the group 

Honeybb joined the group 

Changkyunie renamed the group to “<3”

Changkyunie: good morning

Minhyukku: morning!!!! 

Honeybb: helloooooo

Changkyunie: ok so I’m too chickenshit to do this irl but are you guys busy tonight 

Minhyukku: nop :0

Honeybb: it’s serious hes using proper spelling 

Changkyunie: yknow what never mind 

Minhyukku: NO 

Minhyukku: what did u wanna ask!!!???

Changkyunie: I booked a table at this place 

Changkyunie: for tonight 

Changkyunie: for dinner 

Minhyukku: :00000 omg 

Minhyukku: OMG

Honeybb: where 

Changkyunie: it’s a surprise. I’ll send a car to pick you up at seven 

Minhyukku: dress code!?!!

Changkyunie: black tie 

Minhyukku: omg omg omg 

Honeybb: Kyun is this a date

Honeybb: KYUN DONT GHOST

Changkyunie: it’s a date 

Minhyukku: IM SCREAMING

Minhyukku: OUR FIRST DATE

Honeybb: SCR

Changkyunie: I’ll see you guys later ;) 

Minhyukku: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

-

It had been over a month since Jooheon and Minhyuk had moved out of the dorm. Surprisingly, Changkyun had spent more time at the elders’ apartment than anticipated. 

They were taking things slow; baby steps, with Changkyun making use of the spare bedroom every other day and even bringing his own clothes and toiletries along after a couple of weeks.

They hadn’t had sex, and Minhyuk and Jooheon would respectfully refrain from being too mushy in front of Changkyun. If anything, they were more than happy to let the maknae sit between them on the couch, even drape his legs over Minhyuk’s knees while resting against Jooheon’s chest. 

One night, Changkyun fell asleep in the others’ bed after playing on the Switch Hoseok had bought them as a housewarming gift. He wasn’t disturbed or moved. Instead, when he woke up hours later, he found Jooheon curled up against his shoulder and Minhyuk’s arm around his waist. 

It wouldn’t be fair to say it felt like old times. Things had changed too much for this to be comparable to the relationship the three of them had before. It was softer, more comfortable, without an ounce of guilt or worry.

And Changkyun felt ever so loved.

They never said it, not wanting to push Changkyun, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t feel it. 

It was strange when he thought about it; he loved both of them equally, but definitely not in the same way. Like his heart was a bottomless pit of emotion, capable of churning out even more and more love for both Minhyuk and Jooheon with each passing day. It became effortless. 

Two days prior, whilst Changkyun was helping Jooheon prepare lunch, their lips had met. It had only been a little peck as the maknae had moved the elder’s bangs behind his ear. He’d started to apologise, before Jooheon just smiled at him, making Changkyun look away, embarrassed by how fast his heart was beating at something so simple. 

Minhyuk had kissed Changkyun goodnight when he left that same day, a hand gently resting against the younger man’s hip. Though it was more intense and heated than what he had shared with Jooheon, it had still made his heart jump in the same way. 

He loved them. He loved them so much.

And it didn’t hurt anymore.

Well, it did hurt a little when he returned home and lay on his bed, all alone. But that was short-lived, as he would promptly receive messages from both of them, asking if he got home okay and to have sweet dreams. 

This kind of pain was worth it. It was yearning; excitement for the next chance he could spend with Jooheon and Minhyuk.

-

“Who’s the lucky guy?” Hoseok teased as he lingered by the bathroom door, watching Changkyun dab dark eyeshadow in the corner of his eyes.

“I’m concentrating, hyung,” Changkyun replied.

“Let me help you out,” Hoseok offered, watching the maknae sit down on the toilet seat. He took the eyeshadow pallet, instructing Changkyun to tilt his head back and close his eyes.

“I tried applying it like the makeup noonas, but it just looks a mess,” Changkyun muttered, trying not to move his face too much. 

Hoseok just smiled. “Don’t worry. I’ll fix this up.”

After a couple of minutes, Hyungwon appeared in the doorway. “Can you hang out somewhere else? I need to pee.”

“Hold on, Won. I’m almost finished getting Kukkung ready for his date,” Hoseok replied. 

Hyungwon approached, peering over the elder’s shoulder before letting out a low whistle. “Damn.”

“What? Was that a good damn?” Changkyun whined, bouncing his feet nervously.

“Depends. Are you planning on getting laid tonight? Because if not, then you’re the biggest cocktease I’ve ever seen,” Hyungwon smirked.

“N-no, I’m really not,” the maknae protested. He was just going to have a nice date, treat Jooheon and Minhyuk to dinner, then go home and. “Oh.” He caught his reflection in the mirror, eyes all dark and smokey, the light bouncing off his cheekbones. There was even a slight tint of red on his lips. 

“Not to toot my own horn, but if he doesn’t come in his pants when he sees you, he’s not worth it,” Hoseok chuckled.

“...it’s not a guy...” Changkyun mumbled, tilting his head to the side, marvelling at himself. “Well...it’s two guys.”

“Two?” the others parroted in unison.

Changkyun nodded. “Minhyuk and Jooheon.”

“But you’re third wheeling?” Hyungwon asked.

“...No..I’m gonna ask if they’ll be my boyfriends.”

Hoseok blinked. “Both of them? At the same time?”

Changkyun nodded again, moving to tidy away his makeup. “We had a thing for a while. But I wanna try actually dating them now.”

“Is that why you’ve been over at their place every other day?” Hoseok asked.

“Yeah, more or less. Just trying to get used to being around one another.”

“Will you move out too?” Hyungwon asked.

“I dunno...baby steps.”

Hoseok gave the maknae a warm smile, patting him on the back. “As long as you guys are happy, that’s all that matters.”

“Thanks, hyung.”

“Oh, can I pick out your outfit? You need to knock ‘em dead,” Hyungwon grinned. “I’ll do you hair too. You’re gonna look so good.”

“And then you need to tell us everything tomorrow,” Hoseok added.

“Everything?”

“Everything.”

-

Changkyun had booked a table at an expensive restaurant with a perfect view of the Seoul skyline. The place was pretty busy, filled with chatty businessmen, couples and wealthy families.

Hyungwon had tried to convince Changkyun to wear the tightest leather pants he owned, but the doorman would definitely have turned him away. Instead he resorted to a pair of well fitted suit pants, a crushed velvet blazer, and a very low cut snakeskin shirt. Hoseok insisted that the less buttons done up, the better. 

He sat at the table for three, gazing out of the window and trying to refrain from anxiously looking over at the entrance. Butterflies were starting to gather in his stomach with each passing second. What if they were running late? What if they ended up at the wrong place? What if they weren’t going to show up at all?

“Oh my god.”

Changkyun glanced to the side, where the gasp had come from before jumping up and out of his seat.

Minhyuk was a vision, wearing a wine red blazer, black shirt and an adorable matching bow tie. His hair was perfectly styled, wavy, framing his face. He had his glasses on, eyes lined a touch of red eyeshadow.

Jooheon stood behind him, hair slicked back, white mandarin jacket buttoned all the way up to his neck. He, however, had gone for the leather pants option, and Changkyun really wished he hadn’t given the elder such a blatantly hungry look. Fuck, he even had blue contacts in, his usually warm gaze so piercing. 

Changkyun bowed politely at a ninety degree angle. “Thank you for meeting me here.”

Minhyuk and Jooheon bowed in return before the elder quickly pulled Changkyun into a big hug. “You look amazing, Kyunnie,” he cooed. “You even did your hair for us?”

“I wanted to make an effort,” he groaned, trying not to get makeup over Minhyuk’s expensive looking jacket. “But you look so good...both of you.”

“I feel kinda underdressed,” Jooheon mumbled, taking his seat.

“Oh, shush. You know damn well we’d both bend you over the table if we could,” Minhyuk smirked before covering his mouth. He gave Changkyun an apologetic look. “Sorry, too much?”

“No...hyung...Min’s right,” Changkyun agreed, turning to his attention to his menu. “Everything’s on me...so please don’t go too crazy.”

Minhyuk started chatting away about the food on offer, saying how fancy everything was, asking what kind of budget he had if he wasn’t allowed to order everything. Changkyun leant over, pointing to some of the cheaper options, allowing his hand brush over the elder’s. Then he glanced up, meeting Jooheon’s gaze. 

“...what?”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to stare,” Jooheon said, hurriedly looking down at his own menu.

“...you were staring?”

“...You just look really handsome tonight...that’s all.”

Minhyuk laughed, nudging Jooheon under the table. “Look at how shy he’s getting. So cute.”

Changkyun chewed on his bottom lip, fiddling with his hair self consciously. “Hoseok-hyung and Hyungwon-hyung helped me out...I’d look a mess if it weren’t for them.”

“I highly doubt that. I’ve seen you all gross and greasy and you still look perfect,” Minhyuk smiled, resting his chin in his hands. 

“Don’t exaggerate.”

“Kyun, you know how hot you are,” Jooheon added, brushing his foot against Changkyun’s ankle. 

The maknae felt himself blush, hoping his makeup would at least conceal some of it. “A-anyway...I kinda wanted to say some stuff,” he began once they had ordered their meals. He was in the middle of pouring glasses of champagne for himself and the others. “I...wanted to thank you for being so patient with me. I was kinda worried I was just an afterthought...or a third wheel...”

After taking a slow sip of champagne, Jooheon leaned forwards, lowering his voice so only those sat at the table could hear. “You were never an afterthought. It didn’t take long to realise that it’d never work between us if you weren’t there.”

“No matter how much we tried to ignore it,” Minhyuk sighed, reaching across to take Changkyun’s hand in his own. He ran his thumb over his knuckles gently. “There was always a Changkyun shaped hole in our relationship.”

“I guess we all learnt we can’t just switch off feelings for each other, huh?” Jooheon chuckled, his dimples appearing, making Changkyun’s heart flutter. “But we’ve been a lot happier having you around again.”

“Yeah...it’s just been so nice...and the privacy helps a tonne too,” Changkyun replied. “I like it just being us three.”

“Y’know, we mostly picked that place because it was the only one of our options that had space for three,” Jooheon grinned.

“...But how were you so sure that I’d...Y’know?” Changkyun’s question hung in the air.

Minhyuk smiled, squeezing Changkyun’s hand again. “Is that all you wanted to say?”

Oh, now for the big question...

“Um...I just...” he glanced down, chewing his bottom lip. “I wanted to...um...ask.”

“Breathe, Kyun,” Jooheon said gently.

This was so nerve-wracking. It was only a few words. And they had to already be anticipating what he wanted to ask, right? Fuck, he’d practiced this over and over again in the mirror. It was so much easier just reciting it to himself, or even typing it into a message...

“...would you both be my boyfriends?”

Jooheon quickly reached across the table to take Changkyun’s free hand, unable to hold in the biggest smile.

“I’m not saying it’ll work out...and it might still be hard,” Changkyun mumbled, letting his fingers interlock with the blond’s. “I dunno if and when I’ll be ready to move in...or how long it’ll take me to get used to everything...but I really love you...both of you...and you’ve been so patient and caring and...you both love me so much. I’ve never felt so strongly or wanted something so badly...”

“Baby, you don’t need to cry,” Minhyuk whispered.

Wait, when had he started crying? 

He looked down at his suit pants, and sure enough, wet patches were spreading onto his thighs, tinted with glitter from his eyeshadow. 

“Fuck,” the maknae whispered, picking up his napkin to dab carefully at his eyes. God, he was a mess.

Jooheon gave the youngest’s hand another squeeze. “Yes. A thousand yeses.”

“Wait, really?” Changkyun asked, his voice strained from the tightness in his throat.

Minhyuk laughed, moving his chair a little closer to the younger. “Of course,” he smiled, placing his hand on the back of Changkyun’s neck, comforting him. “It’s kinda lame, but I’ve already been saying you’re my boyfriend, but Honey keeps telling me off for it.”

“You have?”

“Not until you were ready,” Jooheon added. 

“But I can call you it for real, right? It’s official now, right?” Minhyuk looked so eager, his eyes wide and twinkling. Changkyun’s heart melted at how happy he was. 

It wasn’t that scary after all.

Once Changkyun had quickly excused himself to go to the bathroom and freshen up, their meals arrived. With food in his belly, the maknae felt a lot better, his nerves settling. 

“Did you want to come back to ours tonight?” Jooheon asked. “We can order desserts and watch a movie. No pressure to stop over, though.”

“Please stay over.” Minhyuk flashed his most pleading puppy dog eyes at Changkyun. 

There was no way he could say no to that.

-

They never got around to watching a movie. They didn’t even order any dessert. Almost as soon as the front door closed, Minhyuk pounced on Changkyun, stealing his lips in a fiery kiss. 

“Fuck,” the eldest whispered each time they broke apart. “Fuck, I missed you so much.”

Screw taking things slow. For now, he just needed to be touched and held and fucked by his...oh God, boyfriends?! They were actually boyfriends now. 

“Easy, Min. You guys need to take your makeup off first,” Jooheon chided once he finished locking the front door and drawing the curtains.

They pulled away from each other. Changkyun couldn’t help but snicker at his own lip tint smeared over Minhyuk’s mouth. The elder led him down the hallway, stopping at the bathroom so they could remove their makeup. 

Changkyun finished first, earning a quick pat on the ass as he left for the bedroom. Jooheon was already done with his makeup and in the middle of removing his earrings, placing them carefully on the side. 

“Hello,” Changkyun purred, wrapping his arms around Jooheon’s middle.

The blond turned around, resting his arms on the other’s shoulders, letting himself be pulled as close as possible. Their lips met briefly. “Hello.”

Changkyun hummed as they kissed again, his fingers making quick work of the buttons on the elder’s jacket. “Wouldn’t want to ruin this...”

“You better not start without me!” Minhyuk called from the other room, earning a few quiet chuckles from the two rappers. 

Changkyun was quickly stripped, his lips never once leaving Jooheon’s. It felt so good finally being able to kiss him again, touching his face, feeling his dimples against his fingers. The blond palmed over his exposed chest, causing him to whimper. 

“You okay?” Jooheon asked, his own clothing hanging off one bare shoulder.

Changkyun nodded. “It’s just...it feels like it’s been forever...I really took all of this for granted.”

“Sssh. It’s okay now, remember? We’re together now,” Jooheon whispered in between kisses. 

Changkyun’s remaining clothes were tossed aside, leaving him laying completely naked on the bed. Jooheon licked his lips, eyes hungry.

“Wow, you really did start without me,” Minhyuk huffed at the doorway. 

“I only undressed him!” Jooheon pouted, sitting back on his heels. “You look ready to burst, Kyun.”

“Don’t remind me,” Changkyun mumbled, glancing off to the side.

Minhyuk quickly stripped out his own clothes, leaving them strewn on the floor. He knelt down beside Changkyun, running his index finger over his jaw. “...Have you been with anyone else?”

“Of course I haven’t.”

Minhyuk’s eyes flashed with heat, his finger sliding between the maknae’s parted lips. “Good. I’d be so jealous.”

“Fuck, I don’t even know where to start,” Jooheon purred once he was out of his clothes. He pulled Changkyun closer, pressing kisses over his cheeks and jaw.

Changkyun let out a soft whine, another of Minhyuk’s fingers slipping between his lips.

“Did you touch yourself at all?” the eldest asked, shifting a little closer, watching as Changkyun shuddered when Jooheon began to trail his kisses further south. 

“I...A little...but it’s not the same...” 

Minhyuk let out a sad sound, pulling his fingers free, replacing them with his lips, kissing Changkyun until he was breathless. He tangled his fingers into the elder’s hair, allowing himself to get lost in the feeling of Minhyuk’s tongue moving against his own. For once, there was no guilt or worry. He just wanted more. He wanted to give as much of himself as he could.

Their lips parted, breath heavy and hot. “I love you,” Changkyun whispered, touching Minhyuk’s cheek. “I love you so much.”

Minhyuk just gave him the warmest smile before kissing the tip of Changkyun’s nose. “I love you too, baby.”

Changkyun went to say it again when he rolled his head back with a soft gasp as Jooheon swallowed down his cock in one movement. Minhyuk glanced down with a smirk, holding Changkyun’s hips down to stop him from thrusting up into the blond’s mouth. 

“How many times, do you think, Honey?” Minhyuk asked, gently touching Jooheon’s cheek with his free hand.

Jooheon pulled away briefly before running his tongue all the way along Changkyun’s cock, base to tip. It made the maknae shudder. “Three or four?”

“I was thinking three...” Minhyuk hummed before pushing Changkyun’s legs up so his knees were against his chest. “Hold them like that, okay, baby?”

“Three what?” Changkyun asked, wrapping his arms around his legs to keep them in place. 

Jooheon just smirked, crawling back up the bed to fish the lube out from under the pillows. “We’ll make you come three times.”

“T-thr- I’ll die!”

“At least three.”

“But that’s...ah!” Changkyun gritted his teeth as one of Minhyuk’s slick fingers slipped inside him. He was pulled back into a deep kiss, letting Jooheon swallow each and every moan.

Oh, what was the use in denying it? He wanted it so badly. Every time he’d touched himself over the past couple of months, his mind would only ever drift away to paint images of Minhyuk and Jooheon. Even if it hurt or felt wrong, he couldn’t help but get off to them. No one made him feel the way they did. 

Jooheon knelt beside him, taking a fistful of dark hair to guide Changkyun to suck him off. The whole while, Minhyuk was busy stretching out the maknae, marvelling at how tight he had become in the time they had spent apart. Changkyun couldn’t help but grind himself down against Minhyuk when he swapped his fingers out for his tongue, desperate to take him even deeper. 

Fuck, his thighs must have been such a mess by now. Minhyuk was leaving so many bite marks and red scratches over his sensitive skin. 

“Do you feel good?” Jooheon asked, tightening his grip on Changkyun’s hair just a touch. He received a nod in reply. “Think you can take me a little deeper?”

Changkyun nodded again, shifting closer and letting his eyes flutter shut. He swallowed, letting the blond’s cock slide further down his throat, earning the most delicious sigh he had ever heard.

“I think you’re loose enough now,” Minhyuk purred, sitting up and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

Changkyun was lifted onto his knees, Minhyuk sliding his cock teasingly against the maknae’s ass. Jooheon sat in front, letting Changkyun use him as support as he rolled himself back against the eldest. 

“How thick are the walls?” Changkyun asked.

“I mean, we haven’t had any complaints yet. Be as loud as you need to,” Jooheon replied, dipping his head to start kissing along the younger’s throat. “Lemme mark you.”

Changkyun groaned, sliding his fingers into Jooheon’s hair, undoing the hard work he must have put into it before their date. Though, if anything, he looked even more handsome with a few locks hanging over his forehead.

As soon as Jooheon began sucking and biting at Changkyun’s throat, Minhyuk’s voice was against his ear, dark and husky. “You ready, baby?”

“Please.”

He threw his head back as Minhyuk pushed inside, involuntarily pulling on Jooheon’s hair at the same time. It wasn’t long before he was moaning, crying out, begging for more. Jooheon’s kisses were doing nothing to muffle him - not that he wanted to keep quiet. 

Changkyun’s palms began to map out Jooheon’s body, noting how toned he had become. Had he been working out more? Was it all the extra dance practices? He closed his fingers around Jooheon’s cock, stroking him in time with Minhyuk’s rough thrusts from behind. 

“M-mmnn, I want you,” Jooheon groaned against Changkyun’s mouth, biting down on his bottom lip. His eyes were so hazy, filled to the brim with lust. “Fuck me too.”

Changkyun was in no place to say no. He’d desperately wanted to try out being in the middle, but never had the chance to. 

Minhyuk pulled out briefly, allowing the other two to shuffle around on the bed. Changkyun pushed his lubed up fingers past the tight ring of Jooheon’s entrance, raising an eyebrow briefly. He wasn’t as tight as he was expecting...did he even need to finger him?

He stole a glance back at Minhyuk who slung an arm around Changkyun’s waist. “The privacy is really something, huh?” the eldest purred, nipping at the shell of Changkyun’s ear. 

“How many times-“

“Kyun,” Jooheon whimpered, rolling his head to the side, eyes fluttering. “R-right there.”

“Here?” he asked, curling his fingers, trying to remember where the elder’s sweet spot was. Fuck, it really had been too long...

Jooheon gasped, tightening up around Changkyun’s fingers. “Please, just hurry.”

The maknae moved to fit in between Jooheon’s legs, staying on his knees so that Minhyuk still had access to his ass and could hold his hips. With a roll of his hips, Changkyun was sheathed by Jooheon’s tight heat, the elder throwing his head back with a hoarse cry. Jooheon scrambled, tugging his lover closer, letting their lips meet in a messy kiss, peppered with the most sinful moans. 

Minhyuk sat back and watched for a few minutes, loving the way their bodies moved together, like no time had passed at all and they had never been apart.

Then Minhyuk was inside again and Changkyun could only whine, his hips stuttering for a couple of moments as he tried to learn and match Minhyuk’s rhythm. 

Jooheon was coming before the other two had a chance to slow down, biting on Changkyun’s tongue as ropes of white splattered in between their bodies.

It was so hot. Too hot. And it wasn’t long before Changkyun came too, pouring himself deep inside the blond whose body had gone limp beneath him. 

Minhyuk pulled out again, though held Changkyun in place so he couldn’t move away just yet. “Can I show you Honey’s new favourite thing?”

The maknae watched as Minhyuk dipped in between Jooheon’s legs, earning a soft whine from the blond as he pressed his lips against his entrance. Jooheon shivered, head still flopped to the side, reaching down to lightly brush his fingers against Minhyuk’s hair. 

The eldest soon sat back up, flashing a quick wink at Changkyun and allowing Jooheon to pull him into a needy kiss. A line of cum dripped down Jooheon’s chin and Changkyun’s throat went dry. Fuck, that was too hot...

When the kiss broke, Jooheon quickly motioned for the other rapper to come closer too. He shuffled over, lacing his fingers with the blond’s, allowing their mouths to meet and the tastes to mix. Something this dirty didn’t deserve to be done so tenderly...

Jooheon swallowed down the remains, framing Changkyun’s face with his hands. “I love you,” he whispered, eyes soft and adoring.

Honestly, he could melt. How could someone look so cute after doing something like that? 

“I love you too,” Changkyun purred, letting the elder kiss everywhere he pleased, his chest swelling with warmth. 

They’d found their footing, growing used to being able to touch once another again, with no fear or worry. 

Changkyun allowed his body to be pulled this way and that, barely registering whose hands were on him, who was kissing him and who was inside him. The sensations blurred, his vision obstructed by the closeness of the kisses. So many kisses. So many whispered I love yous. He really could burst. 

He came for the second time with Jooheon inside him, Minhyuk grinding his own cock against Changkyun’s. It was unhurried, no urgency in the slightest. They had all the time in the world to just enjoy each other and just love.

Changkyun was laid down on his back, staring up at his lovers...his boyfriends through hazy, unfocused eyes. He was quickly bundled into hugs and smothered in kisses. 

“I can’t believe this is real...that you’re actually here...you’re really ours,” Minhyuk whispered once he had settled down beside Changkyun. “I’ll wake up and you’ll still be here, right?”

“M’not going anywhere, Min,” Changkyun replied, voice muffled by even more kisses. “This is where I belong.”

Jooheon moved to lie down on the other side of Changkyun, gently nuzzling the top of his head. “You better not go anywhere...I’ll eat you up...keep you in my tummy.” He began to nibble on a lock of dark hair for effect, causing the maknae to squeal and try and hide away in Minhyuk’s arms. 

“Don’t eat him, Honey,” Minhyuk huffed. Changkyun visibly relaxed against the elder’s chest. “I want a bite too.”

Changkyun tried to wriggle away before he was pinned down by Minhyuk. Then it was too late. Jooheon began to tickle him, causing him to shriek and flail around as much as he could, very nearly kicking someone in the process. 

Once he was released, Changkyun just lay there, covering his chest, still giggling away. “Fuck, I missed this,” he sighed, able to catch his breath. 

“If you missed being tickled so much, you should’ve just said!” Jooheon jeered, going in for the kill again.

Changkyun tried to slap his hands away. “No. Please, no, it hurts to laugh now.”

Minhyuk cooed, kissing the maknae’s temple gently. “But it’s so nice hearing you laugh.”

Their lips met. It was chaste and so slow, enough to draw a soft moan from the younger rapper. Jooheon’s hand moved down, closing around Changkyun’s cock that was slowly returning back to full hardness. Then Minhyuk joined, carefully rubbing his fingertips over the leaking slit. 

“We said three times,” Jooheon murmured, kissing along Changkyun’s collarbone. 

“M’still gonna die,” the youngest protested, gasping at the sudden pressure and tightness around his cock, both of his boyfriends working together to make him just unravel. God, his boyfriends....he was never going to get used to that, was he? 

It all felt so surreal; the months of pain and heartache had all been worth it. He’d finally found his place, nestled between Minhyuk and Jooheon, and as he climaxed for the third and final time, he found himself falling in love with them all over again. 

-

The following morning, Changkyun woke up to only one person snuggled up against him; Minhyuk. The elder looked ever so peaceful, still completely naked. Changkyun leant down to kiss his forehead, earning a soft grumble.

“Morning,” he whispered, lightly brushing Minhyuk’s now very messy hair away from his eyes. 

“Mmmnn...” Minhyuk stirred before opening his eyes. He blinked slowly, a warm smile spreading across his lips. “It wasn’t a dream...”

“No, I’m still here.”

“...Good..will you get me a coffee?”

“Of course.” The two shared a brief kiss before Changkyun shuffled out of bed, picking out his discarded underwear from the night before and slipping into them. He followed the sound of rustling, heading into the kitchen. Jooheon was crouched down, serving Gucci and Yoshi their breakfast. “Good morning.”

The blond quickly stood up, grinning at the other rapper. “Hey. I was gonna start on breakfast for us. Do you mind helping?”

“Not at all. The princess wants his coffee.”

Jooheon rolled his eyes, flicking the kettle on. “What time do you think you’re gonna head home?”

Changkyun hummed, glancing out of the window.

“Just because you got to treat us to something, doesn’t mean I can’t. I still want a dessert and movie night.”

At that moment, Jooheon’s phone lit up on the side. Changkyun noted the elder’s lockscreen had changed...it was a photo of Changkyun and Minhyuk that Jooheon had taken while they were still on tour. They were laughing over something, looking so relaxed, so happy. 

Things had changed quickly. But that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. And if this change was now normality, Changkyun could definitely get used to it. 

“I can stick around. Might as well get used to living here,” Changkyun smiled.

“...really?”

“I mean...my home is wherever you two are.”

Jooheon stepped over to Changkyun, being careful not to bother the cats while they ate. He closed his arms around his waist, pressing a light kiss against the corner of his mouth. “You have no idea how happy that makes me, Kyun.”

“I think I have some idea,” Changkyun giggled, allowing the elder to nuzzle closer. 

They jumped apart when a loud wail came from the bedroom. “Coffee!”

“Is he always like that?” Changkyun asked. 

Jooheon couldn’t help but laugh. “Every damn morning.”

Yeah, Changkyun could definitely get used to this.

After all, he was finally home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you
> 
> Thank you thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart.
> 
> I started writing underwater almost as soon as I’d seen monsta x perform and I had to get...something!? out of my system. They’ve proven to be quite the inspiration for me. 
> 
> I cannot express how much fun I had writing this story and I’m glad I got to share it with all of you.
> 
> Thank you for the kind comments and words of support. 
> 
> I’ve made some wonderful friends thanks to writing this fic and I am so grateful for that. Honestly. 
> 
> Please follow me on twitter and say hi @minmeowpd   
> I’m working on a social media au while also writing my next big project. I hope I’ll be able to finish it and share it with all of you soon!
> 
> Thank you again for everything!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so so so so much for reading!
> 
> I love reading your comments and hearing your thoughts, so please do not hesitate to leave them below
> 
> Follow me on Twitter to yell about boys @minmeowpd
> 
> See you next week!


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